mood sleeeeepy

There's something in my eye.

2 days ago i was absent-mindedly rubbing my left eye when i felt a small little lump on the corner of my eyelid. I didn't give it much thought thinking that it could be just a zit. However later on at night when i mentioned it to my sister, she proceeded to examine it and when she suddenly exclaimed at that apparently visible lump, i knew it was time to go "uh-oh".

We spent some ten minutes speculating about it and now that i looked back, it was all so comical. My sister even offered to accompany me to the hospital, in case it is something serious. deadly. I freaked out a little and called rudy, whining, "what if it's some tumour??", while in my mind i was thinking, "would i go blind??", "I want to live til 70!", "I want to get married and have children!", "I want to kiss my boyfriend with my eyes open!".

so yesterday i went to YIH to uncover the suspense. So after waiting for 45 minutes together with some 101 other freshies waiting to get their medical checkups, making the whole clinic so darn congested, I was told ... that it was just a cyst. yayness! And the fact that it had a medical term which sounds like one of the seven wonders of the world in Rome, actually made it sound rather cool, when in fact it is just due to a blocked gland of some sorts.

Got some antibiotic eyedrop and cream and i should be sorted out in no time, eventhough the doctor said it may get a little larger before subsiding.

Today i spoke to kko abt it and she said she got it before too, only that hers involved the need for the doctor to flip her eyelid open and yank the cyst out with a scalpel after injecting her eyelid with anaesthetic.





should i like panic now?????

listening to Domingo A Noite (Sunday Night) by Luiz Bonfa, 'cept that it ain't a sunday night.

D511

Moving all my junk in hall from one room to another seemed to be an impossible feat a few months back, but i did it! Am now nicely settled in a new room overlooking pasir panjang with continuous supply of breeze. yayness. Now i can get changed without having to shut the blinds. *rubs hands with glee*

I still cant get my modules figured out. Hopefully prof replies my email soon with the green light. Oh why are things always in a state of perpetual mess?

I had my qualms about coming back to hall, which basically stems from the fact that i am just a solitary animal. How do i tell them that no i am not interested in block spirit and no, i dont want to join your committees and to hell with hall victories. I haven't the foggiest bit of interest in fussing over whether the hall lives or dies, despite being one of the supposed big shot. you may now gasp.

Sometimes i wonder if things would have been different if i hadn't gotten attached right smack at the very beginning of university life. Maybe i would have been more enthu. :p

I'm still suffering from post-oz blues.. was talking to kko earlier and she also did so much shopping! I'm jealous!!! But then yes, all the mess at that time couldn't possible have been helped.

mood hungry
listening to Mas Que Nada by Sergio Mendes feat. The Black Eyed Peas

Huzzah to a spanking new blog!

I love the layout. c'est tres chic! :D
As usual, it took me hours just to decipher the html codes. These people who make blogskins are really geniuses. They should get noble prize or something.

The old blog has become too laggy for comfort. Prolly it's all the bandwidth-sucking photos? entries overload? i dont know? In any case, according to some sources, the old blog was too easily search-able and i'm not quite comfortable with details of my life being so easily googled.

so anyway, yay!

mood blue
listening to Tricycle by Psapp

Too Fast Too Furious...

Just for the sake of updating,
my holiday was abruptly cut short because a close aunt passed away. All in a whirlwind of a day, arrangements had to be made to go back to indo from melbourne precisely a week earlier than planned, and i'm still feeling somewhat bitter about it. How do you deal with mixed feelings like this? Torn between the grief for the loss of someone close and the reluctance to leave someone precious.

Today i accompanied my buddhist relatives to the temple to burn offerings to my aunt, just to be respectful. It was all rather strange to me, those fancy rituals people perform to the dead, like as though they are there in the same room but simply a different dimension, watching and looking.

They had some papers and boxes which they burnt in a chamber and they are supposed to be offerings. As i watched the fire through the open window of the chamber, standing 5 metres away, the heat scorched my face. and i wonder what hell must be like.

I'm back in smelly singapore, and each day ever since the day i left melbourne on the 19th i opened my eyes each morning wondering how it must be like if i were still in melbourne. waking up to the cold winter air which makes my toes curl while snuggling in the thick blankets in Flemington. holding rudy's hands and waiting for the tram while watching each other breathing out white frosty winter air. going back to smith's street for the third time because i was too fickle to haul out the things i wanted in a single trip.

but here surrounded by the disgusting and humid singapore air, school and obligations and commitments looming ahead, all i could think of is how my handphone isnt ringing with the familiar voice waiting on the other end. why did we not spend more time while we could?

i realise that i only blog when i'm depressed. and hence my blog becomes mighty depressing even though im actually not a depressingly depressed person.

It was nice to be in melbourne, even when rudy wasnt around, cos it was just such a laidback place. People were friendly (at least during those 12 days i was there), smith street and bridge road rock my socks, elizabeth street, bourke street, lonsdale and swanston kept me occupied, muesli for breakfast was cheap, awesome and gave me (ehem) good bowel movements, and milk comes mostly in giant 2 litre bottles.

The botak trees are ace! i really loved how the trees looked so skinny during winter, without leaves and all! I even loved wearing lots of clothings and shivering in the gentle wind that blows into the toilet everytime i come out of shower. I loved university of melbourne, where the brick buildings looked just like what i pictured universities to be like, so victorian and so classy, especially in winter, when all the gaunt and leafless trees with clambering branches were such excellent backdrops that make the place look almost like Hogwarts. But here in NUS, there are only ugly supposedly modern looking building that attempted to look polished but failed miserably by looking mis-matched, overly fanciful, not to mention having horrid names such as Lee Kong Chian.

It was nice to be in a place where there was noone familiar on the streets to bump into you, noone to judge you, noone to control you. Just plain old me, a great boyfriend and a fab shopping buddy. :)

no photos. My blog is laggy enough as it is, and i'm lazy. I need to be alone for a while to recuperate from all these rollercoaster of emotions.

and geez it's still August??? Feels like it ought to be December already.

good night everyone, i need to sleep.

test.