Complicatedly simple, or simply complicated?


Thursday, November 30, 2006

mood calm

How do you know you've been eating too much supper?

I happily went to Uncle V's to feed my rumbling stomach at 1am yesterday (or rather, this morning), and just as i plonked myself in front of the stall, ready to order, auntie said,

"Hi felicia! you want your porridge?"

so...

how do you know you've been having one supper too many?
1. auntie knows you by name
2. she knows what you want to eat even before you make your order.


dang!

posted at 4:32 PM by Felice





Tuesday, November 28, 2006

mood bored

The post you should ignore.

For once, i am going to succumb to conformity and blog about what ten thousand other undergraduates are probably blogging about. EXAMS.

I feel like someone evil just threw a big black cloak over my entire being and suddenly i find myself in a place where everything is dark. cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot think. Anyway, the reason why i am complaining about all these here is because it is the only place where i can. It is the only medium which will not throw me a scornful look or maybe half-accomodate me with an exasperated tone and in my heart i know they just want me to shut up.

I was telling kl that these days when i study i always get the urge to go jogging. it's true. haha. perhaps it is just the physical manifestation of how badly i want to run away. Every exams period i find myself contemplating about the reason of my existence in this institution, and maybe it gets forgotten when the holidays come. but every time the mugfest starts they always come back and bite me in the ass. hard.

Quite some time ago i read something jas wrote in her blog, and i could relate perfectly well to it. It is true that sometimes our minds trick us into believing that the path to happiness and true satisfaction is always through this rough and hard route of academics accomplishment, and all our lives we wait, and take comfort in what little delayed gratification we get at the end of the darn long road that never seems to cease winding while we were at it.

May this be the last winding road that i would ever have to take.

I was listening to John Mayer and as the soft strumming of the guitar reverberated through my earphones, i wondered, how nice it would be if whatever academic obligations i have now just magically vaporise into thin air. Of course, by law of mass transfer that is not possible, because no scientists have ever discovered the diffusion coefficient for academic obligations or the analytical tool to measure their concentrations.

I cannot stand it. I feel so mentally constipated and i want everything to end so bad, but everytime i want to open my mouth to pour out my grievances, or dial that number, or wanted to click that "send" button, i stopped and swallow back all my words. because i know that noone really wants to hear what i have to say. They are either experiencing the exact same thing, or are so taken in by the liberations in their own obligations that there is no room for empathy.

Sometimes i wish God can just send me an email, a snail mail, or a holler from up there, amplified ten thousand times over with a loudhailer. Because i'm so lost i just need a sign. Maybe something like..

"Dear Felicia, you should get off this computer now and start reading on Fourier number. It is going to come out for exams tomorrow. The graduate student is very pissed with you because he is waiting to use the computer. And by the way, I love you very much. Cheers."

posted at 3:41 PM by Felice





Friday, November 24, 2006

exams start T-O-M-O-R-R-O-W.

helllloooooo! Earth to felicia! kindly step down from that spaceship and come back to 2006.



yeeeeba!

posted at 1:59 AM by Felice





Thursday, November 23, 2006

sometimes when i am upset, retail therapy is the ONLY cure. :)

posted at 10:57 PM by Felice





Tuesday, November 21, 2006

---------On hiatus until further notice---------

posted at 11:04 AM by Felice





Saturday, November 18, 2006

mood great

Woooo... :)

I am in a strangely joyous mood today, for no apparent reason. It was a bizarre kind of realization, like a veil had been lifted and for the first time i noticed that there are a lot of beautiful things all around me, and mundane things like watching Justin Timberlake's music video (ya i know what you are thinking), listening to nice songs on my poddie the whole day, and the fact that there is America's Next Top Model to watch on monday, made me happy for some very strange reason. I have also acquired a nonchalant state of mind which made me marginally indifferent to certain things happening around me, and that felt liberating somewhat.

productive day yesterday with plenty of yays. kko knows what i mean. ehhehehehe....

posted at 10:36 PM by Felice





je suis fatigue et je veux manger du chocolat et dormir maintenant!!

posted at 2:27 PM by Felice





Friday, November 17, 2006

mood :)

An apple a day...

ok this post is a few days overdue.

Anyway, 4 days ago on a perfectly normal and monotonous monday, i was totally minding my own business when an ipod shuffle dropped onto my lap.

no, seriously.

The story goes like this. Pdus msged me a few days earlier to say that he needed to meet me one of these days to pass me some stuff he has for R. and it needs to be done soon, before he leaves for NZ. So i thought, ok man, gotta quickly meet this fella up because he has got R's stuff and i want to be a good gf who runs errands properly and not procrastinate like how i have been with his lomo. cos i have been freaking busy la and im sure fst people can relate to it purrrfectly.

I was determined to be an efficient superwoman this once and go get whatever stuff belonging to my boyfriend that this chap is holding onto. So on monday when i went for my medical checkup for my OZ visa, i arranged to meet up with Pdus. It was at Paragon's Starbucks that i sat myself down after huffing and puffing my way from the radiologist and Pdus had a brown box put squarely on the table such that it was the first thing i saw when i sat down. "Open it", he said. And i was thinking, huh.. this is R's stuff right, so what is the big fat deal, why must i open it??

But anyway, when i did open it, an ipod shuffle was staring at me in all its sleek anodised aluminium glory.



Pdus grinned, "For your anniversary."

And the oaf that was me was thinking, "Huh? for anniversary? as in YOU are giving ME this for anniversary? oh this is FOR rudy from YOU? then are you asking ME to open it?

........ OHHHHH!!!!!!!"

He must have thought i was such a dork because it took me a while to figure out what was going on. It was a few minutes of confused moments before i finally figured that rudy had asked him to help buy it and give it to me as a present for our anniversary a month ago. :)
Then again, its not entirely my fault. He could have been a little more explicit.

but i should have guessed. Rudy is ALWAYS doing this kind of sneaky things!!!

and bugger... Pdus is leaving for NZ only in February. *smirk*

It is so pretty :) and so minuscule, i am still not used to its tininess. In the words of my sister, "you could swallow it by mistake".

I suspect this may be a secret plot to make me exercise. Because a while ago i remembered saying that i am lazy to go jogging because i have no music to listen to while i jog. smart!

Thank yang, you made my day :)


posted at 6:54 PM by Felice





Thursday, November 16, 2006

mood amused

Drawings.




posted at 9:42 PM by Felice





Tuesday, November 14, 2006

mood pensieve

Once in a while, you hear a song that touches deep into your heart, and you just want to sit in a quiet corner and soak in the realness of the feeling it invokes. Because it seems to speak aloud the words that you never cared to admit were true, or words you were never able to tell. And you marvel, at that moment of serendipity, the wonder that someone at the other end of the globe you dont even know, seem to know how to verbalise it perfectly for you. And they are beautiful.


Still by Ben Folds

I must give the impression that I have the answers for everything
You were so disappointed to see me unravel so easily
It's only change, it's only everything I know
It's only change, and I'm only changing

La da da

Mother misses her baby but I only wanted to be me
She changed address and haircuts and boyfriends and light bulbs it's easy
But it’s only change only everything I know
Even the things that seem still are still changing

La da da

I stay focused on details, it keeps me from feeling the big things
But watch microscopes long enough, things that seem still are still changing

La da da

Even the things that seem still are still changing
Even the things that seem still are still changing
Even the things that seem still are still changing
Even the things that seem still are still changing

posted at 9:42 AM by Felice





Saturday, November 11, 2006

I feel like taking a break from

EVERYTHING.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I want to go there.

posted at 11:03 PM by Felice





Friday, November 10, 2006

mood sleepy

Kko's 2-second-fame on felithehippo

Kko is taking the Bahasa Indo1 module and how i love reading her essays, because they make me laugh so hard. hahaha. Come! Lets revel in the glory of an unabashed attempt at defining her favourite activity, in ways that only kko can. :)


Aktifitas Favorit Saya

Aktifitas favorit saya adalah tidur. Saya bisa tidur 24 jam. Tapi, sekarang saya tidak ada waktu tidur. Karena, saya ada banyak PR. Setiap hari, saya harus membuat PR. Saya tidak senang!
Tapi, kalau saya tidak membuat PR atau belajar, saya akan gagal dalam pelajaran. Saya tidak bisa gagal! Karena kalau saya gagal, saya tidak pergi ke SEP.
Mengapa saya senang tidur? Saya juga tidak tahu. Mungkin karena keluarga saya senang tidur. Kami bisa tidur sampai tidak pergi ke sekolah.
Kalau saya tidak cukup tidur, saya akan marah. Saya tidak bisa berbicara karena saya tidak (ada) energi. Karena itu, saya harus makan cocklat untuk (mendapat) energi. Sesudah makan, saya akan senang lagi!



For the benefit of my non-indo speaking friends (giddeot), here is a translation:

My Favourite Activity

My favourite activity is sleeping. I can sleep 24 hours. But now, i dont have time to sleep. Because, i have a lot of homeworks. Every day, I have to do homework. I am not happy!
But, if i dont do homework or study, i will fail in my studies. I cannot fail! Because if i fail, i cannot go to SEP (student exchange programme).
Why do i like to sleep? I also dont know. Maybe because my family likes to sleep. We can sleep until we dont go to school.
If i dont sleep enough, i will be angry. I will not be able to talk because i have no energy. That's why, i have to eat cocklat to get energy. After i eat, i will be happy again!



Keiko wants to eat COCKLAT. hahahahahahahahha!! She got a "bagus sekali" for this essay. I suspect ibu probably passed out laughing while marking this essay. But no grammar mistake! way to go, kko! :)
posted at 7:14 PM by Felice





Thursday, November 09, 2006

mood roar

My future offsprings.

Next time i am going to name my daughter Zygosaccharomyces rouxii. And my son shall be Pediococcus halophilus. If i give birth to twins, they are so going to be Candida versatilis and Candida ethellsii.

If they ever make me mad, I will lock them up in some humid room and together they can go ferment some soya sauce.




Exams make me go bonkers. You believe me now?

posted at 4:59 AM by Felice





rule #1: Please at least show some interest when having a conversation. It is only polite.

posted at 12:30 AM by Felice





Wednesday, November 08, 2006

mood lazy
listening to Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton

Sappy-O

What was supposed to be a 1 hr catnap turned into a 3 hr powernap *fidgets*
I still cannot believe exams are in 18 days.

I love this song. It made me emo for a while.
Written by Eric Clapton when he lost his son, who fell forty-nine stories from a high-rise apartment. I really do respect people who can channel their emotions into good and soulful music, instead of doing stupid things like killing oneself, throwing tantrums, or being a complete ass.

And for the life of me, i cannot understand how someone could have half the mind to post comments such as "This is his worst song. listening to it makes me wish that i was the one who pushed his son out of that f***ing window."

Made me damn angry. Maybe he just got dumped because he was an ass. And he responded to it by being an ass. And hence, i have come to believe that some people just cannot help but be an ass.


Tears In Heaven (here to watch video)
by Eric Clapton

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.


P/S: R went to smith street today. I ALSO WANT TO GO! :(

posted at 2:52 PM by Felice





mood crazy

Random. (grey title. because koalas are grey. *bimbo giggle*)











This is completely random, but i just came back from NPD and the first thing that popped into my mind when i got to my room was that "Next time I go to Australia I am going to HUG a koala!" :)

Sometimes how my brain works is unfathomable even to me. Like how my nervous system suddenly registers a need to hold furry grey things, how i have a sudden epiphany, that next time on my wedding day, I want Renee Olsted's "What a difference a day makes" to be playing, how the only source of comfort i seem to want now is Morris snuggling under the blanket next to me licking my face. how i seem to be so concerned with certain things when my own life has got ten thousand things that lie abandoned in heaps demanding my attention. And how all these things are not related with each other whatsoever.


And i cant wait for my koala to come back! :)


And i should stop cooking up so much nonsense in my brain and do some revision already.

posted at 1:32 PM by Felice





Monday, November 06, 2006

I shall try to write a boring, bimbo post.

Yesterday i was doing the stupid sauerkraut report until 5am, but also didnt really get a lot of things done, so irritating. Went to sleep and woke up at 10am when kko came into my room and dangled rocky road ice cream in front of my nose. That was a brilliant idea because it worked. And i got up in less than 5 minutes, as compared to the 50 minutes it would normally take.

Anyway, only 5 hours sleep, so yah i'm very tired now. It would be so nice if i can just put down everything and go for a long walk, while elves come out and play and finish up all my work for me. You know that childhood stories you used to hear when you were young? about how this poor shoemaker only had enough leather to make a pair of shoe, and he was devastated because that was all he had. Then when he was sleeping two little elves came out of nowhere and helped him make the most beautiful pair of shoes he has ever seen. The next day someone promptly bought it, and he had money to buy new leather. And then at night, the same thing happened, and so on so forth yadda yadda. I kind of forget the ending. But the point is.. I WANT THOSE ELVES TO GET THEIR ELF ASSES HERE AND HELP ME FINISH MY WORK!

i'm tired :(

maybe it's just exams. Everytime when exams are nearing, i start to have all sorts of stupid thoughts floating in my mind. and all sorts of stupid stuff also start to happen. It's always like that. Actually why am i doing this :( do i really need to know all those information (you dont know what i am talking about).

Maybe my life would be so much simpler, if i just shut myself off from all that is going on in their lives. why bother right? it's none of my problems what they do, it is their lives and i am not their mothers. yesterday kko told me i am too nice. I would like to believe that but then that is impossible because i am not an angel. I get pissed and scream at people who take me for granted. ok maybe not out loud but u get what i mean. So tell me how do you not be nice? it is not as though i honey-coat every single thing i say and wipe the dust off the path they walk on, i just treat them like self-respecting human beings and this is what i get. why. :(

so many things to write but i just cant seem to get them out of my head because the words are intertwined and mingled with lactic acid bacteria, leuconostocs, coliforms and sauerkraut fermentation. dammit, i even dreamt about them when i slept. what is wrong with me. :(

shall blog again later when i am in a better state of mind.

man, this is such a brainless post. No need to think just type and type. Maybe this is who i really am. whatever you have seen in my blog for the past 3 years were not written by me. It was somebody else more intellectual pretending to be me.

posted at 7:41 PM by Felice





mood appalled

I just stumbled upon some websites and I realised that my 3101 lecturer took some of his lecture notes materials from Wikipedia. And lab manuals wholesale from some websites off the net. WIKIPEDIA. what the hell???? Dont NUS lecturers have some sense of teaching integrity and originality?

And to think we spend so much time memorising these shites, when they are from Wikipedia?
like, HUH?

posted at 4:58 AM by Felice





Sunday, November 05, 2006

mood in spasms

Goooorgeous!

I think everybody is sick of mugging. Well, at least I, for one, am damn fed up with school because I still cant see the point. Especially when lecturers give nonsense tutorial questions such as:

Beer is often referred as "liquid bread" by beer lovers. Then why not make fermented soy drink (without so much added salt) and label it as "liquid meat"? Explain how you would go about doing it.


Whaddahell?? Can somebody tell me what is it that he wants? slaughter a cow, put it into blender and DHL it to his doorstep?

Anyway, yesterday kko and I were just having our usual talk-rubbish session, when i asked her to teach me how to do proper eye make up. So then.. yes, keiko, the post you are waiting for.

MAN, i have my reservations posting up this post okay, because of the fact that it is so going to jeopardise my image. After this post, my image will officially go to the dogs.

Anyway, i was saying, so we happily took out what little goo and gunk that we had in hand, and started some really serious make up lessons. It was so professional that i was sure it would nearly put Bobbi Brown to shame. But somewhere along the line, something must have gone terribly wrong because we keiko started abusing my eyeliner and doodled big time.



That was an octopus that she drew on her nostril. So i proceeded to draw a spider under my eye. It actually started out quite innocent. See? not bad at all.

Then things got a bit more interesting once we discovered the abundant blushers. And also learnt how to draw caterpillar eyebrows.

And we realised, that when the pictures were taken with flash, we looked positively like monsters. I have NO IDEA why I am posting these pictures up. Actually there are more unglam pictures *shudders*. But i shall preserve what little dignity left of myself and leave them for private viewing instead.

Yang, what you just saw, is not your girlfriend.


posted at 6:06 PM by Felice







About Me

Felicia

23

is a free spirit | is straight | loves to drink | but is a cheap drunk | loves travelling too much | lives for good food | wants to ride on a hot air balloon | hates ignorance | hates mediocrity | hates meaningless conversations | loves walking in the rain |


Indonesia, Singapore


feliciadeanneATgmailDOTcom



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