Need to find my mojo.
About 2 months ago, there was a time when singapore got so boring that kko and I resorted to going go to Pulau Ubin for a half day trip. We walked along a stretch of boardwalk overlooking the sea and mangroove trees, and then lay sprawled in the middle of the path, sunbaking because noone was there, the island was OURS. As we were trudging on the creaking woods, looking into the sea and talking about things, one of them being singapore, kko said,
Sometimes if I look hard enough, I can imagine that I'm in another place.
And I envy that kind of ability, because I can't do that to save my life.
Today as I was sitting on the top deck of the bus in air-conditioned comfort, I was watching the architecturally bland buildings, the narrow streets, the cramped up little estates, and the gaudy colourful HDB flats. And my heart sank an inch. I remembered what kko said and I tried to squeeze some new perspective into my brain.
I looked at a little slope at a corner of the road and thought that it could be crestridge crescent. Hey maybe that little alley could pass for Jonker street. And then one of those little houses, it looks like the cosy little estate in No 63, Jln Sawi, Cinere. The little house I miss. I look at all the greenery and tried to deceive my eyes into believing that all these are not just confined by this 700 square km mound of dirt. But whatever minuscule amount of good thoughts I managed to muster was soon engulfed by the monstrosity of this sickening dread I have, at the prospect of the possibility of calling this place home.
It freaks me out.
Sigh, maybe it's just one of those days..
Labels: mumble jumbles, singapore