Still lost in transit.

2008-11-19T10:31:00.006+08:00

mood shopping-deprived

Hey, Gorgeous.

I was just doing some random blog-hopping and chanced upon some bag scoop on Fashion Nation. Actually not just bag scoop per se, because what really happened was, my invisible bag-accustomised antennae went DING DING DING furiously when I saw these PS1 bags by Proenza Schouler.

In mustard

In Sand

It looks somewhat similar to the Witchery one that I have, but still. Don't quite know how they will look when carried though. I especially love the one in Mustard. I think I am about to just die from bag-lust now. The down side? They cost USD$1,595 for a medium one.

WHY...

2008-11-18T10:28:00.007+08:00

mood sleepy

Le week-end

On Saturday I spent the afternoon making Italian meatballs. Found some recipes for the Swedish variety and I want to make it soon! Making meatballs is such a physical thing. You have to roll them into balls one by one, and sometimes laziness really gets the better of me. Haha.

There was an MPH warehouse sale at expo last weekend so I plopped by to take a look-see after my Sunday ministry in church. I think I probably went into some sort of a trance in there because in retrospect, how I managed to browse around book-after-book for THREE solid hours is really quite a feat. I felt a bit like a little girl in a candy shop. I think I sort of let loose a bit cos I figured that well, I should live a little. This particular internal dialogue happens often, by the way.

I think some of my happiest buys were the Donna Hay magazines which were selling for only 4 bucks each! A Lonely Planet Bluelist 2008 for those stuck-in-Singapore restless moments, and another Murakami book which I gleefully fished out of a box of trashy paperbacks, like finding gold in a sack of rice. I even got two children books for my tuition kid. And all of those cost me only a little more than fifty bucks.

And they were in mint condition, not dog-eared copies falling off their jackets. So satisfying, those buys! :)

2008-11-13T20:44:00.007+08:00

mood full

Couch Potato

There is Amazing Race, Project Runway and America's Next Top Model back to back tonight! I am SO indulging tonight :)

Just made a big pot of Spicy Mac n Cheese with Jalapeno Pepper. *burp*

Two days ago I had a casual conversation with the HR Exec and I was just saying that perhaps it is a good idea to get a toaster over in the lunch room. That way, people can bring pizza or sandwiches for lunch and get to toast them. She said That's a good idea, we can suggest it. And just this afternoon, I sauntered unsuspectingly into the lunch room (my favourite place in the whole workplace by the way) and BEHOLD. A brand spanking new Phillips oven toaster sitting sweetly beside the microwave. YAYNESS!

Sara and I were already thinking up lunch ideas so that we can utilise that shiny new thing. *rubs hands in glee*

I gave away some carrot cake and recipes last week. And I suspect I am slowly but surely spreading my lethal domestic bugs in my workplace. haha.

2008-11-11T15:49:00.012+08:00

mood calm

No more.

To your last post which I just read, I only have this to say. It's funny how you have so much insults to hurl now. Granted, those were written before you read the email. But that you had pages of abusive comments purposefully meant to cause hurt (explaining was beside the point), while knowing fully well that I was never in the light of things at that time, really leaves much to think about. Regardless of email or no email. Was I supposed to be in calm acceptance of a mere four-liner ultimatum? So it seems that apparently noone else has the right to be angry without being lambasted like a criminal.

So, NO. I do not appreciate being attacked left right and centre like a punching bag, not when it comes a couple of years too late. And NO. You had no business throwing your insults around, because things wouldn't even be what they were if they weren't so mishandled from the very beginning. I have things to say for every single accusation you have, but I guess now they don't matter anymore. And I will not bother with reciprocating your insults, because I will not stoop so low. So this is me responding to those name-callings.

Thanks for eventually bothering to clear things. If I could turn back time, there isn't a single thing I would have been able to change, because I still maintain that your feedback is way overdue. I am not sorry at all, and I am "very maturely" telling you now that I do not agree with what you think, because in retrospect, there were many occasions I can think of where things should have just been resolved there and then, or at least talked about. And all this would have been so damn unnecessary. I guess noone is to blame. Things just happened because probably that's how it's meant to be.

Yay, it is over now. I don't think I want to know anything more. Not now, not ever.

P/S: It's sarcasm. Not sacarsm :)

2008-11-09T20:46:00.002+08:00

mood confused

Disposable

It is funny, how to some people friendship is like playing a game on PSP. You ride on the highs and lows, and then you get bored because the characters get uninteresting, or you mess up, and to get rid of it you just hit Game Over. Just like that. When the least one can do is give a decent explanation and not just an effing sorry excuse.

You're right. Probably not worth fixing. Because I am not a floor mat for you to trample upon and leave crumbs of your growing pains.

2008-11-05T01:02:00.001+08:00

mood

Never felt so stupid before.

Tonight, a part of me just died.

2008-10-31T16:49:00.004+08:00

mood blah

Drag

I've been a bit depressed lately because there is a collective negative energy all around me that is getting to me just by sheer diffusion. I come home and see a stressed up sister mugging for A levels, I talk on the phone to a stressed up boyfriend churning out essays, rushing for submissions and making models, I go to work and again the air is thick with a general tired resignation over monotonous routine, unsympathetic bosses, troublesome experiments, and boring food.

Doesn't help that I'm already feeling rather crappy myself. And it is moments like these that I feel so drained and completely devoid of inspiration. It's really hard, this thing. At this rate I'm gonna start getting wrinkles and a saggy face soon. Is it this place? Or is it just me?

Damn it, maybe it's just the hormones.

Thank God, Jakarta tomorrow! Bubye.

2008-10-31T08:47:00.008+08:00

mood silly

Cheap Thril No. XXX

I had been eyeing this Lock 'n Lock glass container for a while but always resisted the frivolous urge because I thought it is stupid to spend good money on a lunch container. But just a few days ago I received some news about plastic containers releasing dioxins when heated in the microwave and how it causes cancer and all (and I always heat my plastic containers in the workplace microwave for lunch).
So I thought, what are we waiting for, right? Of course I went ahead and bought it. I would totally try harder to live longer if it only costs $12.90 and looks this nice :)

Edit: Just read another plastic-related news here. Hmm something to think about.

2008-10-28T21:36:00.011+08:00

mood sleepy

Becoming super domesticated, omg.

I had a really great weekend, generally speaking. The Great Eastern Run came and went, and I'm still alive. Ran about 4.5 km of the route and walked 0.5 km of it. Not too shabby at all, and I had a really good, long sleep that sunday night.

I'm a bit too darn lazy to write anything nowadays, but to cut the long story short, for the long weekend I really did a lot of cooking and baking, I kid you not. In fact, at this rate my blog might just become a food blog.

Saturday lunch, I did tuna pasta salad. Sunday, I baked my pumpkin cake! It was alright, but the pumpkin taste doesn't rock my socks enough that I'd be rushing to make it again. For dinner, I attempted such an elaborate feat in the kitchen (by my standard, at least), just because hey, I had all the time in the world. I used my Byron Bay coconut chilli sauce and mixed it with some yoghurt dressing to marinade several chicken breast fillets.

And a whole tray of cajun roasted vegetables because i figured we need all the antioxidants that we can get :)

I also made garlic roasted and herbed baby potatoes because we are a family of potato fiends. Here is a plate of the end products. The picture is crap as usual.

We had a few happy tummies that night :) On monday afternoon, I made pasta carbonara with angel hair pasta. Big mistake. the pasta was so fine and soaked up so much cream sauce that the whole thing was one lumpy tangled mass of noodles. The taste was good, but so very fattening that I could literally feel the evil-ness of it seeping into my body.

After lunch, I was cabbaging around and then I realised that I was really really itching to so something. So I rummaged around my kitchen cabinet for some yeast and flour and made Oregano bread.

The picture is crap because as mentioned, the lighting here is just absolutely hopeless. My brother, especially, had a lot of fun kneading and banging the dough around. Anyway, the bread took TWO hours to rise. And when I finally got it out of the oven I was momentarily horrified because How come it's so bloody hard?! Turned out that this was more of a baguette-like variety with hard crusts and all. The insides were soft and full of yeasty goodness :) Now to look for a soft-crusted bread recipe!

This afternoon, I had some of the leftover carbonara for lunch. And I felt like I've ingested enough cream and butter for a week that I came back and made some celery chicken salad with yoghurt dressing and blanched baby tomatoes and broccoli for lunch tomorrow.

That's to cut the long story short. So my point is, I am kinda in trouble. My grocery bill this week was so expensive it's not even funny! Did I also mention that I made spinach quiche and two more batches of carrot cake the week before?

2008-10-25T22:58:00.004+08:00

mood full

So going down.

Tomorrow my sister and I are participating in the Great Eastern Run and I tell you, I am SO going to die. Haven't really been running. In fact, I've been doing the exact opposite of this supposed exercise regime by doing a hell lot of cooking and baking. Albeit only 5 km, I still don't know what possessed me to sign up for it. It has got to be that irrational trait acting up. The same trait that brought me up the Pinnacles in Mulu and nearly got me killed last December.

Did up a big batch of tuna pasta salad for lunch today :D

Anyway, next Saturday I will be going back to Jakarta for 5 days to settle some stuff. I am rather apprehensive yet excited about going back after about 8 years of absence. Heard that it has gone through some eye-opening changes and I can't wait to see it for myself. Yet it is strange how the city of my own birth can feel so foreign and uninviting. Me thinks that I might feel more at ease if plonked in Chiangmai.

Oh wells... FOOD! :D

2008-10-24T10:41:00.003+08:00

mood gleeful

Dilemma

Did I tell you that my dear boyfriend just bought a Canon DSLR? Complete with some spiffy lens and other trinkets. I think some of the dust of his photography fervour fell on my head and albeit on a much smaller scale *cough* economically *cough*, I am now contemplating if I should bid for this Holga 120 CFN.

5 more hours before bidding ends!!

2008-10-21T20:39:00.010+08:00

mood full

Missing the days of midweek chill

I just made banana cake again. Yes go ahead, roll eyes. haha. Oh woe is to me, who can't stop being anal to save my life. This time I substituted the margarine with butter, and changed the brown sugar back to white sugar just to see how different it would taste like. Also, because the family of eggs currently sitting in my fridge are so very tiny, I actially pondered in front of my baking bowl for a good few minutes. Another egg? Or not? In the end I plonked the extra bugger right in.

Anyway! It baked beautifully :) I really wish I could take some pictures but the lighting in my house is simply hopeless.

Here is the original recipe (click).

1/2 cup shortening
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 cup mashed bananas
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup quick cooking oats
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
In a large bowl, cream together the shortening and sugar until light and fluffy. Stir in the eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition, then stir in the banana and vanilla.
In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda and salt. Beat into creamed mixture. Stir in oats and nuts. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 50 to 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean.

You can change the shortening to butter or margarine, reduce the sugar from 3/4 to 1/2 cup, substitute half of the flour with wholemeal (you can thank me when you are 40 and trying to diet, for that extra kilo you saved). 1 cup = roughly 2 and half bananas (but please go ahead and plonk in that extra half because leaving half a banana lying around is ridiculous). Also, I baked mine for only 40 min.

And oh, an extra egg won't hurt too! :)

Did you know that Halloween is coming?! A crazy idea stopped by me today, since I am all into this fruit & vege theme nowadays. You know, making a pumpkin cake (even though I've never eaten one in my entire life) and heck, why not a Jack O Lantern too just for the fun of it! :D

I popped by NTUC today and saw humongous, perfectly orange, flawless pumpkins on sale. But MAN, you won't believe how exorbitant those things are. I picked up a soccer ball-sized one and balked when I saw the $74 price tag. Anyway, I got half of a tiny pumpkin (those Halloween unworthy ones) and I can't wait to make a cake out of it!

2008-10-17T17:04:00.006+08:00

mood :)

I guess it's the journey, not the destination.

Today, R and I are 4 years old. FOUR! YEARS! OLD! Wow, how did we do that?

Admittedly, there had been many difficult times. There were some sad moments, frustrating moments when I had to fight the urge to throw stockings around his neck and haul him out of the window, and moments when I just want to curl up somewhere and pretend all this LDR thing isn't actually happening.

But on top of that, there were the blissful moments, the crazy moments when we walked around half of Tasmania breaking our legs, balancing on rocks and taking pictures of wallabies, and quiet moments of contentment knowing that noone else knows and loves me the best. Moments which make me believe that there would be many more to come.

:)

2008-10-16T16:19:00.008+08:00

mood accomplished

Woot.

Two days ago, I striked one item off my mental "Things to do before 25" list.

Damn right it was painful!

And it goes right up there on my list of life's weirdest experiences. Running close second is riding on a stranger's motorbike while hugging a big jackfruit in plain sight of a village of hill tribes.

:D

2008-10-08T12:35:00.012+08:00

mood at work

Baking Frenzy

In the typical Felicia fashion of sporadic spurts of short-lived inspirational moments, I recently had a baking fever. It was during those last few hours of work last Friday that I suddenly had this totally irrational, inexplicable urge to bake. Something. Anything.

So on the way home, I plopped by NTUC and bought stuff. And when I say stuff, I really mean the works. I lugged back a mixer (yes, a previously unowned mixer - a testament of how random this really is), a loaf tin, a kg of this and that; which consists of an assortment of flour (all purpose, wholemeal), brown sugar, walnuts, and when I finally succeeded lugging everything back home, I tell you, I had sore arms.

After pottering in the kitchen for a while, here is the fruit of my labour, my pride and joy..

Oatmeal banana bread :) It was so yummy and oh-so-healthy, the flabs on my tummy were thanking me profusely, I kid you not.

The next day I baked it again to perfect it, and then I ventured into baking carrot cake. Seriously, this baking frenzy is making me feel so useful and productive and so Martha Stewart material! Which err.. is a good thing right? I have since tweaked the carrot cake recipe a little and baked it a second time. Shall make it again this weekend to perfect it more, and then maybe I will post the photo :D

Lets see how long this new hobby will last.

2008-10-02T16:51:00.004+08:00

mood tired

Contemplation

Joy to the world! Tomorrow is Ffffriday! :) I don't know why I am so jaded and unmotivated lately. Maybe I am finding excuses again, but I suspect that it being the time of the month is partly to blame. I'm feeling lethargic, bloated, like i have an entire family of whales swimming around in my stomach, and honestly I just want to curl up in bed watching Grey's Anatomy (Season 5 is out! woot!) or listening to Radiohead until I fade into merciful oblivion. Please, would you just wake me up when it's 2009.

A while back, i striked off another book on my to-read list, thanks to suz for lending. To simplify things, this book is a biography about a woman in her thirties who basically messed up her life (divorce, depression), and then went off travelling for a year to Italy, India and Indonesia to find back herself.

I was attracted to this book solely because of the travelling bit. I was curious to know what kind of self-discovery thingymagy this woman claimed to have experienced, and how the whole thing worked. But halfway into it, I was thinking, boy, this woman really has lots of issues. I mean no offense, everyone has his/her own set of problem and as long as you are responsible for your own emotions, there is nothing wrong about it. But reading this woman's life just reminded me about everything I don't want to be, yet looks almost set to become. She is so incredibly self-absorbed to me. Yet sometimes I get really sick and tired of myself too for being like that. And to be really honest, I occasionally look into my head and it always dawned upon me that I could possibly be a prime candidate for depression and manic disorder. I am too much of a control freak perhaps. And maybe Rudy is right that I suffer from reverse hallucination. I can't see the good stuff that is in front of me. In every bunch of perfect-looking flowers I always manage to spot the worms. It eats me up that I struggle so much to change.

But well, like what Ed used to say, if admitting your problem is the first step of recovery then I pray to God that I am on my way already.

What shall I do this weekend? I think I shall bake some cupcakes :)

2008-09-29T16:47:00.010+08:00

mood sleepy

Forgotten weekend

Yet again I find myself in cruise control (read: space out) mode. Oh wells. Last sunday suz and I went kayaking. No, actually it was more like a languid and leisurely paddle. Like another alternative to catching up over coffee, just sans facing each other.

I came up shore to grab my camera and then I realized how funny suz looked slumped forlornly on a kayak with the expanse of water as a background. Like a scene out of Castaway. :D

Work has been painfully slow of late, and I am in one of my reticent mood again. Go away already!

2008-09-14T09:48:00.005+08:00

mood :D

My poo-face sister turned 18 at last!

This is very belated, but hey better late than never. And I just couldn't resist this perfect opportunity to post unglam picture of my silly little sister.

Actually silly is a bit of a gross understatement. Being the evil older sister, I always derive great pleasure from bullying her because she is simply so fun to irritate. Here is a girl who has never eaten McDonald's breakfast all her life, a little goofball I fooled into thinking that bean sprouts grow on trees, one who thought shisamo was shashuma, and an acrobat who if I were ever to take videos of her sleeping, would fill an entire episode of ~~America's~~ Funniest Home Videos.

I actually secretly hope that all this silliness will not go away with age. Because life is so amusing with you around :)

Happy birthday!

2008-09-09T12:05:00.003+08:00

mood chill

Blessed are those who don't have to worry about countries.

Frustrated. Just very very frustrated because I don't have enough grounds to fight for the things I want. No, correction. The things I want so badly I think I am going insane.

Why do things have to be so tough? In the past one week, I have been yo-yoing through a myriad of emotions. From okay to very upset to the point of exploding, to happy and calm, and to very upset again, guilty, numb, anxious, and then very happy and contented, and now, frustrated.

I am so tired, you have no idea.

On a happier note, today work was a breeze. I am rooted to the computer for the day, writing some papers while Radiohead is pulsing through my head. This is just great. I reckon every single part of me really needs a break.

I don't want to be your friend
I just want to be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table,
Get swept under

Denial, denial

The infrastructure will collapse
Voltage spikes
Throw your keys in the bowl
Kiss your husband goodnight

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table,
And get swept under

Denial, denial
Denial, denial

Your ears should be burning

Denial, denial

2008-09-03T10:11:00.003+08:00

mood dumb

Too many rocks in my head.

I have been way too distracted lately. So distracted in fact, that I have broken 2 conical flasks and 2 beakers since Monday. So much damages in the span of three days. What was I thinking?

I feel so incredibly stupid.

2008-08-29T11:37:00.009+08:00

mood bad

Gotta blame something for this.

You know what? I think this retarded feeling that I am experiencing right now, is what you actually call PMS. Wow! I never knew that I am actually capable of PMS-ing.

So the thing is, I am just feeling really crap now! Suddenly I feel acutely aware of things I am being shortchanged for, things I cannot control, my flaws, my unfulfilled wishes, and basically self esteem-destroying and insecurity-related stuff. And you know what's the best freaking thing of the whole damn thing? I can't even talk about it because theoretically speaking I AM NOT ALLOWED TO. Exclamation marks!!! I can't even rant on facebook walls because WHAT IF THEY SEE IT.

I am so frustrated I could cry. Yes right here at work while wearing my fancy schmancy lab coat.

For a marathon runner, sometimes the last kilometre is just the freaking hardest.

2008-08-25T15:34:00.007+08:00

mood sleepy

Miserable on Monday

Is it a coincidence that Monday and Miserable both start with an M? So does Moody, Melodramatic, and Malfunction (make that ALL CAPS). And also, it is right smack in the middle of PMS. Is it a sign or what? I tell you, there has never been a more wretched day.

As of this very moment, working life sucks like a vacuum cleaner.

Ever since school was officially finito, I have been reading books with some kind of feverish intensity. Polished off both Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, Martel's The Life of Pi, and also two Murakami book, plus a few others. I am SO hooked to Murakami. So surreal, dream-like, full of parallel realities, and voyeuristic to say the least. I love it.

Hey, this is really neat. Wouldn't you say? :D

It costs $7000 by the way.

My blog is in ICU. Now it is just a ranting ground. So until my mojo flies back to me pronto, it is going to continue staying in its comatose state, 'cept maybe when I feel like some cyber diarrhoea.

I'm just saying. It beats people who are trying just a bit too hard.

Ok so in the mean time, world peace. And eat lots of vegetables, people.

2008-08-11T08:43:00.001+08:00

mood muahaha

Weapon of battle

I came to office equipped for Monday blues.

I think 'tis going to be a beyoootiful day :)

2008-08-10T19:01:00.005+08:00

mood ...

Cheap Thrill

To be very honest, I am kinda bored with my life. I can't help the fact that I developed this peculiar aversion to routine. Now I can't stand it. It's unbearable. And though difficult and progress is slow, I am consciously trying to veer myself off that track. I want to jump to the side, roll in grass, pluck flowers, FLY!

Anyway, so just for cheap thrill sake, I went for a haircut.

I LIKEY! :)

I also got a new piercing (not shown).

Outside 77th street

Fel: I feel like getting a piercing.
Keiko: omg ok go.
Fel: Ok!

-walks into shop-

Barely 5 minutes later, it was all done. So impromptu to the power of one hundred. I like. Hehe.

I also bought a top from Miss Selfridge and nearly splurged on a pair of Tiger Onitsuka.

2008-08-06T17:12:00.004+08:00

mood blocked

Gone with the wind

So I haven't been blogging. I am soweee... Truth is, I just couldn't be arsed to. This is still such a weird routine for me to get going to. All the waking up early -groan-, morning crowd -groan-, work -half-groan-, and the coming home and cooking/preparing dinner frenzy.

Been cooking up a nightly storm, sort of anyway. Well... It was great fun, and even greater fun when everyone raves about it, but not-so-great fun when you have to pan-fry a fish that is longer than the diameter of your wok and NOT FUNNY at all when you have to physically lop off the head of said fish to get it to fit in the damn thing.

I made Baked chicken & pasta yesterday! And sheperd's pie in the weekend (of which a quarter pan went to my brother's black hole of a stomach). But the thing is, all these domestic gastronomia has made me feel just a leeetle too domesticated for my liking.

Also, I am suddenly really missing travelling. It's like my mind grew wings and kept leaving me during work. I REALLY miss travelling :(

I was hit by a bad bug last weekend. Felt woozy for the better part of the week, and still am ensconced in this mortal sickness as of today.

Quote of the day:

S: Have you seen the doctor?
Me: No. Flu is caused by virus. There's nothing that the doctor can do anyway.
SK: Have you tried Norton?

Me: ...

2008-07-22T12:02:00.006+08:00

mood calm

Thank you ma'am.

There is something rather intriguing about the initial few precious days/weeks of working life. Time, when available that is, is unconditionally pure, no strings attached, almost too good to be true. This is unlike university days, when any good day out is accompanied with a guilty pleasure, for which a penance exists to somehow restore that pleasure versus pain equilibrium. A late night out today must be paid with a sleepless night another day. You get the drift.

But now, my days reek of newfound liberation. While not unwelcome, it does take some getting used to. It's liberating to the point that it almost feels treacherous.

So I've been out and about. Like a bedraggled pauper with a million dollars having just fallen on his lap.

:)

2008-07-13T13:34:00.006+08:00

mood restless

Bitten again.

I was hit by a random travel bug. Maybe it was that short and random talk with Terrence about backpacking, 2 dollar/night rooms in Shanghai and whatnot. Or maybe its the one hour that I just spent uploading the first part of the Melbourne photos onto facebook. Because now I find myself inexplicably and suddenly overcome by a sudden urge to hop onto another plane. Go to vietnam to cruise along Halong Bay, hoist up my backpack and roam the streets.

If i buy tickets now for Feb 2009 flying via Tiger airways to Hanoi, its only SGD$199.98 return. so cheap!

Should I? SHOULD I???

:(

Barely gotten my first paycheck and I have already missed the luxury of holidays.

2008-07-08T15:41:00.007+08:00

mood cold

Mind Games

I really hate it when people try to fish things out from me through vague and deliberately elusive way. Compliments, sympathy, pre-conceived ideas of possible reactions, anything. Just DON'T DO IT. Don't dangle stingy morsels of information with false neutrality and ambivalence and expect me to bite the carrot. Don't dispense half-sentences, and sit back expecting me to complete them, perfect with punctuated emotions to appease your need.

Don't do it, because I do not mollycoddle. I am incapable of it, and neither will I betray my character by attempting.

Genuineness and hypocrisy cannot coexist. So don't make me. I really don't like it.

2008-07-06T14:24:00.007+08:00

mood good

Voyages

I am officially a working adult now. When you see hoardes of people streaming out of the mrt, the ubiquitous morning and evening peak hour crowds pushing, shoving and stepping on everyone's toes, look a bit harder, and you might just spot me, lacquered with nonchalance and sardonic indifference in the midst of it all.

My holidays have reached the end of the line. Thailand, Bali, Melbourne, and now back in Singapore. I have taken the plane for a grand total of 6 times for the past 2 months, and i won't even begin to count the long-haul train, bus and car rides. Maybe it is also this flurry of transits that has made me so stoned. For some strange reasons, there was an absence of the usual bitterness and tired resignation when I finally landed in Singapore 2 days ago. It was with a bizarre kind of detachment that I observed the civil airport crews, the polished facade of the airport, the unmistakable hokkien banters of the taxi drivers, and of course, the all too familiar, stupid ERP gantries. I felt like a mere observer, stopping by yet another port of disembarkation.

Melbourne was awesome. We visited the Blue Dandenongs, rode on the Puffing Billy, went to Warrook cattle farm, played with sheperd dogs and milked a cow, and then saw little penguins coming back to shore at Phillip Island.

Maybe when I feel like it I will post some pictures. But for now, let me tread carefully on the ice of this newfound calm, and in this little zen bubble accidentally created, float along.

2008-06-19T19:07:00.009+08:00

mood full

Food Glorious Food

I am officially on pigging out mode. A day here in Melbourne isn't complete without at least one eye-opening gastronomic meal. But having never spent so much money on food on a single holiday, my pocket now sports a wide gaping hole. Yet, my happy tummy is telling me that all is good. Peachy, in fact :)

This morning we went for breakfast at MART 130 at Middle Park. The establishment is actually a tram station that's been converted into a cosy little breakfast cafe. How COOL is that?? If you do anagram, you'll notice that MART (complete with inverted R) is actually the backward spelling of TRAM. kewl stuff.

The food was to-die-for. But quite steep, we spent almost 20 bucks each. And that was breakfast. Blimey charlie.

Hendi had the corn fritter and grilled bacon stack, while Rudy had steak sandwich with caramelised onion & beet, which was all obscured by those pretty vegs. Don't they all look so blardy delicious?!

I had a Turkish pide with chicken, grilled bacon, swiss cheese and mustard pickle. And we all had a small bowl of juicy juicy sauteed mushrooms on the sides (that wasn't double spelling, just emphasising the point).

Yesterday Rudy and I went all the way to Oakleigh for a hearty Korean meal. The Asian food here is so authentic and scrumptious it is mind-boggling.

Rudy had a sizzling hot plate of FAT juicy, fresh, garlic prawns while I had spicy seafood lamyun. Ahhhh I wanna eat that again.

All these short and curt updates do not do the food justice. But I am so thoroughly spoilt and smitten by all these shop-eat-sleep routine that I need to go laze around just to complete the whole holiday bum profile.

Rudy just cooked yummy perch fillet for dinner. I swear if typing burns as much calories as I hoped, I would blog more often.

2008-06-19T17:48:00.003+08:00

mood huh.

Impersonated

Someone has been fooling around using my email account on some stupid Sydney ad website. In response, so far I have received about 15 emails from various human beings of the opposite sex, most of them asking me if I want a screw. One of them even went as far as sending me a self-portrait of himself with his friend, Dick.

Charming!

2008-06-18T00:28:00.006+08:00

mood histerical

Eggsplosion

We were just minding our own business when we heard a loud BOOM alarmingly near to our ears and found out that Rudy's hard-boiled eggs had exploded in the microwave.

KABOOM.

I had always known that you can't cook a raw egg in the microwave but I never knew that you can't chuck a hard-boiled egg in too. You should have seen Rudy's mortified face. HAHAHA. This is so far the most exciting that has happened in my one week in Melbourne.

Let this be a lesson, ye all. Reporting live from Arden Street.

2008-06-17T21:57:00.007+08:00

mood FULL

Ultimate Sinful Chocolate Supper

In a spur of the moment, after Rudy's crit ended around 930pm, we hauled our already fat asses down to Lygon Street for some chocolate indulgence at Koko Black.

And when I say indulgence, i really actually mean OVERKILL.

We ordered the Belgian Spoil for two, which included a platter of rich. sinful. delectable. chocolate stuff. Did I mention rich? The platter has small servings of rich chocolate ice cream, rich chocolate mousse, a small little rich chocolate cake, a shortbread, and two chocolate truffles. On top of that, we each got an ice chocolate mocha, which is this creamy, rich chocolate drink with two small scoops of Koko vanilla and chocolate ice cream in it.

I know I am overusing the word rich. But God, finishing all those chocolate felt as though an entire chocolate plantation died in my stomach.

Poor Rudy who is not much of a chocolate fan was so overwhelmed by the incredulity of it all.
Check out his how-on-earth-am-I-supposed-to-gobble-all-these-chocolate look.

The truth is, despite the yumminess of it all, that was enough overdosage of chocolate that at this very moment, I feel like I could literally burp chocolate and fart chocolate. And I am moving around very carefully for fear that if I slant my body at the wrong angle, all those chocolate will just spill out of my every orifice. Score!

It was great though :) There are so many nice, chill out eats here in Melboure. I haven't even begun to post photos from our meals at Andiamo @ Degraves, the oh-so-scrumptious Jap fare at J cafe, the dim sum at Plume.

All these fats I have accumulated should be enough to keep me nicely insulated this winter :)

We've been spending quite a bit of money on food the past one week. So we decided to be a bit of a scrooge for lunch and fix something at home. I cooked Japanese curry! Though not exactly proud of it because I used those ready-made curry cubes.

Yummers.

Burp.

2008-06-13T22:21:00.006+08:00

mood happy

On shopping and being possibly addicted to a country.

You know how I am never really good when it comes to shopping resolutions. Only 5 days in Melbourne and already I have added several things to my wardrobe that SO would not fit in my luggage.

There is sale everywhere, dammit. And such good bargains they are!! Hear no evil, Speak no evil, I could manage perfectly fine. But try as I might, the See no evil part is just mortally impossible.

So far, I have gotten myself a kickass Fred Perry bag, a Mooks bag for my sister, a gorgeous FCUK top and a pair of leather Gallaz sandals. Was nearly bought over by a set of Paul Frank tank & boxer sleepwear but managed to hold it before my cool and rational self went all spinning out of control. Rudy generously paid for the Fred Perry bag for an early anniversary present. Tee-hee. Funny how he always had to resort to this to save me before the bag-whore side of my personality succeeded in whittling away my inheritance on these evil and frivolous things.

I am a happy camper literally chilling in Melbourne, yes I am. Earlier on, our plan of trudging down to Il Dolce Freddo at Lygon to get some gelato was thwarted when we opened the front door and was greeted by the 9 C cold air. Promptly changed course and went to Brunetti for hot soy latte and Frolle instead.

This kind of life, I can live :)

2008-06-10T12:11:00.006+08:00

mood contented

Country-hopping

I am in Melbourne now. Oh alright. So my blog now is like some sort of location update, completely devoid of substantiality whatsoever. Every time I talk to people online, I always get chiding remarks like So where are you this time? Why do you keep flying here and there?? Do you want to travel around the whole world before you actually come back?? Well I wish. Then again I admit I have been a tad lazier in updating than I would have cared to admit. But trust me, my embarrassingly inconsistent and sluggish appearances of posts would seem almost excusable, if you, like me, have been tossed from one idyllic existence to another and another, all a plane ride away from each other.

So our 17 day Thailand trip ended with a shopping spree in Bangkok (well sort of anyway). It was a rather relaxed trip, no extreme gravity defying and muscle-cramping stunts like the Sarawak trip. Visited little towns and villages, talked to people, bought lots of stuff. Budget style as usual, which was ace cos I felt is the only way to truly appreciate the country in its entirety.

Came back to Singapore for a week to unpack and repack, and off to Bali for good ol' family and dog-loving. I hadn't been back for about 2 years and you could say I wasn't prepared for the somewhat overwhelming sense of nostalgia that ambushed me the soonest I got into the house. It was surreal how the aftermath of things have changed the feel of the place, the disappearance of the familiar mess, replaced with a more subdued arrangement of things which was both poignant and somewhat sad.

My dog seemed so bewildered to see me, almost as if his little dog brain was thinking She's back?! and as though to see whether I was an illusion that would vanish as suddenly as I appeared, he proceeded to follow me everywhere.

Anyway, similarly, no action packed itineraries here, just chilled around and pigged out on the tongue-tingling spicy Indonesian foods I had deprived myself in exchange for pitiful Singaporean fares. Woke up late, strolled around the city, brought my dog to the beach for walks, lazed around. My last bit of leisure before I start work, very precious indeed. Yesterday mumsie brought us to eat Nasi Pedas, a literal translation for Spicy Rice. No prizes for guessing how it tastes like. Halfway through the meal we were tearing and sniffing like idiots and my stomach felt like it was on fire.

This morning I arrived in Melbourne, will be here for almost 3 weeks before going back to Bali again for a few days. Rudy is off sitting for an exam now, leaving the computer all for myself. So I just had to drag my lazy ass to write something, but that wasn't after I polished off about a quarter of Rudy's cheese Doritos (praise the Lord for self control).

Laters!

2008-06-03T13:41:00.003+08:00

mood full

Last ounce of holiday

Been sooo lazy to post pictures of the Thailand trip and whatnot. Zzzz...

Going to Bali tonight, and then to melbourne for 2 weeks. Be back on 3rd July. Start work on 4th July. NOOO!

til then!

2008-05-24T00:30:00.003+08:00

mood FULL

Full of bananas

We are finally back in Bangkok, our last destination before zipping back to Singapore. For a while, before leaving again that is.

We've been eating SO MUCH fruits here. Fruits are so nice and dirt cheap here oh my goodness. Just yesterday, we bought a bunch of small bananas for 20 baht (about SGD$1). A few days ago on the train, keiko succumbed to a bag of rose apples for 25 baht. Pity that I can't post that photo of her looking so smug and contented with herself while hugging a bag of red fruits. It is so ridiculous I still laugh thinking about it.

Anyway, it is now 1130pm here and a while ago we were feeling bored. I repeat, bored, not hungry. But nonetheless we ventured out into the streets full of prowling street food vendors and a nice, brightly-lit 7-11 (can never go wrong with 7-11).

We came back with 2 big slices (and i mean BIG) of pineapples, watermelon, a grilled egg plant, a microwaved pack of sticky rice with BBQ pork, a can of curious-looking milk with white tea (couldn't help myself, the packaging looked so nice), a box of almond chocolate coated Pocky and a box of strawberry coated biscuit sticks.

Devoured all but the biscuits.

Hooray, i feel like shitting now. I wonder why!

2008-05-21T21:57:00.002+08:00

mood full

In Kanchanaburi

So far, our itineraries have undergone about 4 changes. We scrapped Pai and Soppong, gave the arduous Mae Hong Son bus journey a miss, overstayed in Sukhothai, and went to Ko Chang for a dismal 2D1N trip. And for the last leg of the trip before trudging back to dirty noisy smelly bangkok (with only Chatuchak as its saving grace), we found ourselves plonked on a 3rd class train choo choo-ing past paddy and corn fields, and finally in Kanchanaburi. It is a warm little historical town with WWII remnants like the death railway, the river Kwai, and is surrounded by picturesque fields of green and shaggy mountains. I love this place!

Tomorrow we are going on a day tour to Sai Yok waterfall, some hot spring, and also visit some historical place. Such an idyllic life. I like :)

2008-05-18T16:15:00.009+08:00

mood hot & sticky

I see Wats everywhere.

Today is our third day in Sukhothai. We took a 5 hour bus here from Chiang Mai. Apparently the only reason people visit this place is to see the old temple ruins in the Sukhothai Historical Park, which are supposed to be whoa marvelous. We originally intended to visit them yesterday. But alas, keiko had a bout of diarrhoea and was confined to bed, so yesterday I bummed around. Walked to the internet cafe, bought food, and idly browsed my Thailand Lonely Planet so many times that I even remembered the author's little biography writeup word for work. Almost, anyway. I was so nearly bored out of my wits.

Anyway, so we got to visit the historical park today. Frankly, I think it is a bit overrated. All the wats look the same to me. Oh well, at least now I know.

Tonight we are taking a 6-7 hour bus ride to Bangkok and then a 5 hour bus ride to Trat, after which we will then plonk ourselves on a ferry and head to Ko Chang.

The internet cafes here dont have a card reader, unlike those in Australia. So no photos!

2008-05-15T10:50:00.005+08:00

mood muscle ache

Chiang Mai Day 3 - Post trekking

Yesterday, while I was clumsily balancing myself on muddy rocks, it occurred to me that actually when I think about it, it seems almost preposterous and devoid of common sense, the fact that I always go chasing after terrains to ascend and descend. Maybe I am just silly, maybe I dont know any better. I, the one who hit the tracks an average of once in two months, the one who very possibly belongs to the extreme lower quartile of the fitness scale of the whole earth population. Whatever it is, my muscle aches now is telling me that I deserve it.

So I was thinking that maybe that's enough of up-and-down trekking for now. At least for the next *^%$ months.

That wasn't until John msn-ed me a while ago:

J: Felicia, I think I want to try going trekking. I am shopping for trekking boots. Lets go trekking in December!

F: Okay!

J: The rougher the terrain the better!

F: Wah mati...

Anyway, so we are back in Chiang Mai for another day before we bus-off to another obscure part of Thailand which is yet to be confirmed. Chiang Mai is a great city, very artsy fartsy, very laidback. Yesterday we came back from our 2D1N trekking tour, and me, with a huge collection of mosquito bites and a twisted ankle (again). It was an experience. We got to visit hill tribe villages, did a hell lot of walking, and fed and played with an elephant called chongpu. We also did water rafting, where our monkey ass guide attempted to pull each and every one of us into the water, and succeeded on me. And then we did bamboo rafting, which was more like a submarine, really, because it was half sinking and we were wet anyway so we just swam along with the raft, Titanic style. :D

Will update again soon when I can. To my worried family, I AM SAFE! And I can count from one to ten in Thai now!

2008-05-12T20:01:00.004+08:00

mood excited

The weirdest backpackers who do the most un-touristy things

I am now in a road side internet cafe, reporting live from Chiang Mai. It's been 3 days since we left Singapore and a myriad of weird and interesting things have happened. We spent the last 2 days in Chiang Dao, a small town north of Chiang Mai near the mountains and had such a LAZY time. The guest house where we stayed in had such a comfortable room and bed, and it being off-peak season, we were the only guests in the guest house. Mongkon, the owner, cooked FABULOUS meals, with homegrown rice. Homegrown rice which we couldn't bear to waste so we finished every. single. grain.

We basically spent the days walking around, getting stuck in rains, being the objects of humour and scrutiny by the passing hill tribes people in motor bikes while we walk around in transparent poncho, barefooted (on separate occasions) and basically looking like oddballs. We bought a jackfruit from a village boy and carried it around before being offered a ride on a motorbike (think 3 people with a 4 kilo jackfruit on a small scooter).

We did such WEIRD things. But all in the name of good fun :D

Tomorrow we are going a 3D2N tour to Mae Taeng area where we will visit hill tribe villages, waterfall, do bamboo rafting, and a lot of walking. I will live to tell the tale. Stay tuned.

2008-05-08T16:57:00.006+08:00

mood bummed

The secret is out.

Ok FINE. So there is was this secret trip I was planning - a surprise visit to Melbourne for who-else. But due to some unforeseen circumstances it is not a secret anymore, and I am still feeling quite sore about it. Bah. Oh well...

Anyway I got the free ticket from my dad, who got it through some business connection. Otherwise there is no way I could have afforded another trip. So yay! Visa, check. Seriously, travelling is a darn expensive hobby (have I said this before?).

So, my real itinerary for the next 2 months:

9 - 26 May : Thailand

3 - 12 June : Bali

12 June - 1 July : Melbourne

1-3 July : Bali (short transit)

3 July : Officially back in singapore

So yes. IT'S NOT A SECRET ANYMORE, everyone!

2008-05-07T19:39:00.006+08:00

mood confused

In Transit

I am now officially an unemployed graduate. And actually being rather pleased about it! Like what kko said, it gives me every reason to bum around doing shit. Yesterday I logged onto msn and my finger was about to click Appear Offline, like I usually do (oops), when it suddenly occurred to me, hey I'M NOT BUSY! No reason to act like I am. I have alllll the time in the world. So yesterday, for the first time in many years, I was actually Online.

Whew, beat that.

Anyway, this friday morning 6 am I leave for Thailand, where we will then gallivant around town in the daytime and then take a sleeper train to Chiangmai and on to Chiang Dao, yadda yadda. Be back in 17 days. So we catch the last bus tomorrow and camp out at the airport to wait for our flight. True blue cheapskate backpacker style. Won't be carrying a handphone.

You know, the good thing about travelling is that it's like taking a break from thinking. Which happens to be what I need at this moment.

Oh simple things, where have you gone..

2008-05-07T10:23:00.002+08:00

Irk.

When you feel that you can't be bothered to work things out anymore, you know that either it doesn't mean anything to you, or you are just PLAIN FREAKING LAZY.

2008-05-05T00:19:00.004+08:00

mood mixed

The last 15 hours of a student

Ok so technically I am screwed, because I have a paper tomorrow at 1pm, and I have never before felt so unprepared, not in my whole student life. Admittedly I have been rather half-hearted at mugging, and I have the sneaky feeling that it being the VERY LAST EXAM of my life, is justification enough.

So actually, I shouldn't even be rambling away here. I should be buried deep in my books, or piling my notes up in a heap and laying my head on them so that maybe God will take pity and let diffusion take place. Into my brain, Go go go!

I can't help but feel just a tad sentimental. When I walked out of amk library this evening, it occurred to me that I will never again step into that place with the purposeful mind of a student. Or rather, attempt. Never again will I stand outside that place at 9.59 am on sunday morning while watching a stampede of overzealous students colonising the library the minute the door opens.

It is a rather wistful yet indifferent feeling.

Ok study!!!

2008-04-30T20:33:00.004+08:00

mood amused

Because we are amateur quintilinguists

kko. / tongue-tied. says:
khun there there?
felicia. says:
dichan here here!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
my aunt bought me a new wallet!!!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
hahaha
felicia. says:
what kind of wallet?
felicia. says:
is it a pouch kinda thing or is it like a wallet w alot of compartments kind
felicia. says:
krapaw ngen baru!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
hahahhaa krapaw ngen nouvelle!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
hahahhaha
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
no it's jus a wallet tt i like
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
HAHAHA no connections to travel at all
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
but yes got a lot of compartments!
felicia. says:
i want to go shop lehhh
felicia. says:
je peux une krapaw ngen nouvelle juga!
felicia. says:
hahaha
felicia. says:
what rubbish are we talking abt huh
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
hahahhaa see this is what happens when we know 5 languages between each other
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
my krapaw l'argent is tres cool!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
hahahaha
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
krapaw l'argent khoong dichan adalah tres cool

kko. / tongue-tied. says:
SO SO SO SIEWMAI KHUN YAAK MAY KHA??
felicia. says:
u SURE u want to travel to amk take 35 min bus ride just to eat siew mai?
felicia. says:
dichan yaak siew mai
felicia. says:
mais il est tres jauh pour toi lahhh
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
hahaha wrong!! it's 45 min!! but dichan YAAK!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
and i still owe u 10buckeroos!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
so i shall meet u to return u too!
kko. / tongue-tied. says:
and show u my krapaw ngen nouvelle

felicia. says:
eh our conversation is missing the chinese bit
felicia. says:
wo yao chi siew mai!

2008-04-28T12:10:00.002+08:00

mood lazy

A vice I can't shake off.

Ack.. I have an exam to sit for tomorrow. What a bummer. Can't seem to find it within me to squeeze out the last ounce of perseverance so that I can study without thinking, OK SERIOUSLY HOW BORING IS THIS THING?. That last bit of will power is hidden in very obscure corners of my system, and when I do manage to suss it out, it comes in pathetic spurts, drizzles and drops. Absolutely hopeless.

Another thing i neglected to mention is that I turned 23 a week ago. My sibs bought me a very nice chocolate cake :), of which I only had 2 slices because the rest was gobbled down by my glut brother. So much for a birthday cake. hmpf. Birthdays get quieter every year. Maybe it is a sign of growing old? But then again, I rejoice! Because this is the last freaking time that I spend my birthday with the company of impending examinations. Anyway, thank you! for remembering, and for all the well wishes. And rudy, for the very nice pair of limited edition Tiger Onitsuka :) And keiko, my backpacking buddy who got me -ehem- a certain backpacking necessity. HAHA. how apt.

On a random note, I have discovered a distaste for people with a penchant for saying politically correct things. It is just so boring, not to mention emotionally opressive.

Ok study!

2008-04-17T22:39:00.009+08:00

mood blank

This is where you are supposed to break into a goodbye song.

Today was my last day of school, and I really mean LAST. The last lecture and the last official school day of my entire life ever, as I know it. Now I enter into a two-week mugfest, sit for exams, and two months later, graduate. Then the title student is officially stripped off me. No more student discounts, student fares, student concessions, and when I fill out forms, under occupations, I can no longer conveniently write student. wow. And my heart, my soul, my complex hormonal system and emotions, every fibre of my being tells me that I feel...

... absolutely NOTHING.

In fact, I started the day by waking up late (involuntarily of course), unceremoniously sashaying into my last lecture 45 minutes late, as opposed to the usual 25. And then I ended this historical day by skipping what would have been the last tutorial of my life.

Should I be bothered that even at the end of such a significant milestone of my life, I actually feel nothing? Nada. Zilch. Zip.

Je ne sens rien.

Saya tidak merasakan apa-apa.

Oh wellllll....

2008-04-13T10:21:00.007+08:00

mood sick

Under the weather

I really hate to be sick. But ironically, bugs always find me at the most unopportune times, like NOW. When the last exams of my life (presumably) are just fiercely round the corner. WHY?

I have got sorethroat. Not the sexy throaty effect kind of sorethroat, but the pain in the ass kind. The kind where everytime I swallow it feels like grating against sandpaper. I have been feeling woozy all weekend, oh HOW COULD THIS BE. Dammit I need to study. You know, I can go on whining forever about the sad predicament I am in, how I have a mighty headache that knocked me sideways so I had to sit at the bottom of the stairs blahdeblah, and I have the last report of my academic life to finish. Theoretically I should be rejoicing, despite it all. But seriously, why am I killing a good portion of my brain cells over the dietary fiber content in brown rice? Not worth it.

My tickets are all settled! Oooh baybeh..

9-26th May: Bangkok, ChiangMai, ChiangDao, Pai, Soppong, Sukothai, Koh Chang

5th June - 4th July: Bali

I am going to travel my heart out before I jump into the the dark abyss of working world. Yay!

2008-04-10T20:11:00.006+08:00

mood blah

Another way of being, another way of knowing

I have been forced to somehow reconsider my options and ponder on the possibility that maybe I have been doing it all wrong. Perhaps I should bring some reconciliation within myself, re-consolidate and be firm about what I want, then I will be taken seriously, and you will walk a mile with me. Maybe I should wise up and acknowledge that perfection and idealism are overrated. Or maybe, I should do the hi's and bye's again, because when all else fails, we gotta get back to the basics.

It is sad, how little there is to turn to.

I picked up a couple of potatoes so a bowl of mash is in order. Tomorrow, the world will be a better place.

2008-04-08T14:10:00.002+08:00

mood contemplative

Violent

I feel like bang bang BANG BANGING on the piano all day. With what songs I don't know, I just want to bang on it until I get lost in some random unmelodious tunes so that everything else becomes like specks of black and white. If it is true that there is calm within chaos then I want to be in that whirl wind. Maybe in the middle of it there is some peace. Where have you been?

2008-04-02T14:26:00.007+08:00

mood happy

Cheap Thrill

~~Nanotechnology presentation~~
~~Thesis 1st draft submission~~
~~Thesis final submission~~ DONE DEAL!
~~FIVE lab reports:~~ ONE LEFT! (16/4)
~~1. 4103 Chemical leavening agents report~~
~~2. 4202 EPA DHA determination report~~
~~3. 4202 Vitamin A determination report~~
~~4. 4102 Ultrasonic processing report~~
~~Nutritional biochem write-up~~ submitted 5 min ago
Nutritional biochem presentation (tomorrow)
Thesis poster submission (7/4)
4103 tutorial presentation (9/4)
Thesis presentation (17/4)

And they all happened in a span of two weeks. BOY I HAVE BEEN BUSY.

My classmates like to put their to-do list as their msn nicks. For what reasons I am not sure. But I list them out in my little book only for the sheer joy that I get when I have the pleasure to strike them out one by one. It really keeps me going! I am a mildly obsessive compulsive dweeb.

Pardon the recent influx of boring school related posts. But given that this is the last one month that I CAN complain about school before I don my mortar board, exploit it I shall!

2008-03-30T23:31:00.002+08:00

mood sleepy

Done deal

Tomorrow I am going to print two copies of my 56 pages thesis (including references) and submit them. Yayness. JOY TO THE WORLD! Ok, not that I have been fussing over it for the past week or so after submission of the first draft, but still. The less things I have in my hands the better. Four years of this academic toiling has worn down my perfectionist side a little bit. No longer spending the days aligning tables and adjusting fonts. JUST GET IT OFF ME!

Yippeyay! :)

2008-03-29T00:25:00.004+08:00

mood tired

I feel pooey. Literally.

Elmo had diarrhoea this afternoon. So other than cleaning up all the crap around the house, I bathed her, did a major cage spring-cleaning, and scrubbed the bottom grill which has shit stuck all over it. Did I mention that bathing her involves sticking my hand to her pooey ass?

Why do I have the nagging feeling that next time when I change my kid's crappy diaper for the very first time, I am going to think, BOY have I done this before.

For her sake and mine, I hope she is better now :)

2008-03-26T12:42:00.005+08:00

mood bewildered

Harsh?

I do not understand why some people like to walk in circles. My take on things is very simple. Be truthful, tell things the way they are, and for God's sake stop overdramatizing things. Do a head check once in a while, it helps.

But that's just me.

On another note, Thailand backpacking trip planning has finally seen a decent headstart. Aaaahhh I cannot wait!

2008-03-24T13:06:00.008+08:00

mood caffeinated

My canvas needs some paint

According to my dictionary, the definition of inertia is like being squashed by a thousand elephants. And metaphorically speaking, that is how I am feeling now.

I don't normally whine. But CAN I JUST WHINE?? I have a report to finish, and I don't feel like doing it. I just had an epiphany. Sometimes, laziness does not need justification of any sorts. I'm feeling lazy today, just because. And I don't think I am going to do anything about it. Life is too short to fill it with pretentious emotions. I am a perfectionist over-achiever who has pride the size of Eiffel tower. I happen to be really lazy at heart. And there is nothing wrong with it.

In fact, I was SO lazy that instead of getting started on my work, I just spent the past an hour and a half doing shit and reading back my past blog entries. I know this sounds a little self-absorbed and stupid but I was suddenly enthralled with my life! I mean, all the travelling escapades which came and went, the excitement, and the colourful emotions which are sorely lacking at the present. And then there were the good moments, the love and everything else that came with it.

If my life is a black canvas, all those moments would be the pretty fluorescent streaks. So I guess sometimes we just gotta wait, and soon enough the colours will come.

On another note, yesterday I bought another pair of pumps. Pretty checkered ballet flats from zara which was on sale!

Epiphany number two: There is only so much self-control one can inflict upon oneself and to attempt more would be foolish.

2008-03-16T17:32:00.003+08:00

Hello, how are you?

I'm not dead yet.

But I feel so sorry for the people around me who periodically ask, so how's things? Because I could have jolly well played a tape so I could save myself the trouble of reiterating how BORING my life is at this very moment.

Umm.. busy.. rushing my thesis and lab reports and presentations and assignments.

By some sort of divine sympathy, I somehow managed to walk into this zen consciousness. Like that opening scene from Mr. Bean, when he dropped from the sky and into this little spotlight area. It's pretty cool. In a whoa kind of way.

So. I'm not complaining. I can actually do this, you know. I just need some peace and quiet. Peace and quiet meaning no emotional disturbance and no arguments kind of quiet. Not total alienation kind of quiet.

I am dying to finish everything so that I can start planning my backpacking trip proper.

2008-03-06T20:30:00.002+08:00

mood not good

One's gotta do what one's gotta do

I'm all but TWO MONTHS, 6 lab reports, 1 thesis, 3 presentations, 1 project write-up and 3 exams away from freaking graduating. And 22 episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

Why is life so hard? :(

BREATHE IN...

BREATHE OUT...

2008-02-27T23:56:00.001+08:00

mood dont even ask

I'm this close to going crazy. insane. looney. whatever you call it.

On hiatus until further notice.

2008-02-14T23:43:00.012+08:00

mood amused

I am the new age Santa Claus

Early this week I taught my eight year old student how to send e-mails. We were reading a story book which is a collection of short e-mails, so I went on to give her my e-mail address and told her that she can send me e-mails, just like in the story books. I mean, it's good to practice writing skills and all, right?

The exchange of emails that ensued are as follows:

---------------

Hi Felicia,

happy new year to you!_!

bye for now,
Tiffany Chang

---------------

Hi Felicia,

I like to e-mail to you,
how about you?

p.s Do you have a pet,lf you have a pet please tell the name of your pet please?

Love
Tiffany Chang

---------------

Hi Tiffany,

I just got home not long ago from your place. It is nice to read your email!
Anyway, happy new year to you too. How did you spend your holidays?
I have a pet bunny and her name is Elmo. She is two years old and very cute!
Here is a photo of her to show you how she looks like. Click on it!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v172/fedelicious/Elmo2.jpg

Bye for now,
Felicia

---------------

hello Felicia,

I realy like your rabbit I have neavr seen a rabbit like that!
p.s But if I have 10 stars or 20 stars can I have a rabbit?

Bye for now
Tiffany Chang

---------------

Hi Tiffany,

Well, I don't think your parents will be happy if I buy you a rabbit,
because noone will be able to take care of it when all of you go back to Taiwan, right?
Rabbits can be very naughty. Sometimes my rabbit likes to bite telephone wires.

See you soon,
Felicia

---------------

hello felicia,

But I have six rabbits 1 in Taiwan and 5 in San Ha! (i think she means Shanghai)
but i realy like rabbits!_!
do you think our house is too small?

see you,
Tiffany Chang

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you see how many exclamation marks there are? She has moved on from stickers to living things. Too cute. I find myself ambushed unaware by a pool of motherly hormones.

2008-02-14T16:13:00.005+08:00

mood vexed

J.. j.. jaded

I'm in a super crappy mood today. Maybe it's one of those days, when all the untied ends vengefully resurface, when things get too much, and there just isn't enough excitement in the air. When even words seem pretentious, yet silence seems too loud. My body feels like lead, I drag my feet around and my steps are heavy.

Oh simple things, where have you gone?

Everyone around me is talking about finding jobs. NOOOO leave me alone. I feel like a ten year old trapped in the body of an adult. Really, all I want to do is sit here and eat ice cream. The past few days, I've been contemplating my future, career path and whatnot, and I hit dead end all the time. So I asked Rudy jokingly, Can you quickly get rich, marry me, and then I can stay home and be a housewife? I promise I will cook and clean.

No really, in real life I am not so shallow. Just tired and very confused.

On a happier note, we went to watch PS: I love you yesterday. It was great! I give it 4.5/5 :)

Maybe I'm too much of a dreamer. One of the after effects of the movie includes the sudden desire to travel! to! IRELAND!! too nice.

2008-02-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

mood bloated

Pre-trip blunders - Been there, done that.

The first time we travelled together to Malacca, keiko unknowingly left her wallet at the immigration form-filling counter, only to get into an alarmed frenzy ten minutes later, and run back through the immigration at the speed of lightning. Thankfully the person who picked up her wallet was still chillin' there filling up his form, and honest enough to give it back.

Second time round, we backpacked to Sarawak. On the day of departure, we very excitedly lugged our 55 L backpacks on buses and trains, all the way til Woodlands checkpoint, and then separated ways to queue for immigration, only to have me flip open my passport and to my UTMOST HORROR, see my sister's face staring at me. BROUGHT THE WRONG PASSPORT OMG HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE?!? Thank God my sister was at home, so we sped back to Kranji and fidget around while waiting for her to deliver it. Got to Johor Bahru a little behind schedule, and had to pay 40 RM for a taxi to bring us to the airport. At the airport, we realised that we had misread our departure time, which was half an hour earlier than we thought. Thankfully we were on time, BUT STILL.

A week ago we booked our tickets for the May Thailand trip. Being the money-scrimping backpackers that we are, our efforts of periodically checking budget airlines websites for the past month had paid off. The tickets were practically free, with only the taxes to pay. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, we had never been happier watching money fly out of our pockets, everything was perfect, until we read the itineraries and realised that...

... we FREAKING BOUGHT THE WRONG TICKET.

According to our itineraries, we were going to Bangkok twice and not coming back on both counts.

We must have been such a hazardous combination of travellers that a divine force had to intervene. With so many boo-boos added to our collection, each being comparatively more memorable than the former, I shudder to think about our next trip, keiko.

Nonetheless, I cannot wait I cannot wait! :)

We eventually got the right ticket, but now I have a RM 264 credit in my Airasia account. If anyone wants to purchase anything, please be a kind samaritan and help me get rid of them.

2008-01-27T14:59:00.000+08:00

Cheap Bag Thrill

Balenciaga Leather and Suede Embossed Bag. $1695

Balenciaga Giant Brief Black Leather. $2950

Love these bags! But given my current state of financial inadequacy, I can only afford to buy them on Facebook. In the virtual world, I own two balenciagas, a Marc Jacobs Delancy Tote, and a Chloe Tote. And since I am feeling generous today, I gave my sister a Chloe Paddington and a Coach Hampton wristlet.

We just spent a good ten minutes contemplating our purchases before stupidly realising that hey, what the heck, this is UNREAL. Oh well.

The Fab Bag Application. Gotta love it! :)

2008-01-27T03:21:00.000+08:00

mood on caffeine

eat peanut butter sandwich

drink masala tea

doing Food Component Functionality, Colour Determination lab report

time-check 3.20am

thoughts 5 hours of snooze, give tuition, come back, do Food Engineering tutorial and nanotechnology research. Hello, monday. Where did sunday go? and saturday? friday? thursday??

Incoherent.

This is the epitome of business at its best. There is simply NO TIME. My weekdays are so packed to the max with school and tuitions, in the evening, I get home and crash. The only way to complete assignments, is to douse my neurons with coffee and hopefully trigger enough synapsis to churn out something intelligent. In my quest to eke out crumbs of time from the most impossible of places, a sick part of my consciousness that poke its head once in a while actually secretly derives some sort of sadistic pleasure. Lets roll.

2008-01-23T16:18:00.000+08:00

mood tired

Another kind of break

Since kl tagged about it, I thought I might as well blog it proper.

After the Sarawak and Malacca trip late last year, the first thing keiko and I did the moment we grudgingly came back to Singapore, was go to Botak Jones, stuff ourselves with food, and talk about how much we wanted to travel again. Maybe it was the lethal combination of food and two combustible, travel-hungry minds. It was only barely two hours after we stepped back on Singapore grounds, that *tada* another crazy trip idea was conceived.

THAILAND in May! :) Yipeeyay!! Most prolly 10th May straight after our exams.

We will be backpacking mostly in Northern Thailand. The plan is to fly to Bangkok, take a bus to Um Phang, then on to Mae Hong Son and Chiang Dao for some hilltribe trekking and caving, to Chiang Mai, take a train back to Bangkok, and then to Kho Chang for beach. Something like that. Would stop by Kanchanaburi and Ayutthaya if there is time. We are probably going to bust our butts with all those bus and train rides, but I think it's going to be great :) It will be a roughly two and a half week trip. After that, I most probably gotta zoom off to Bali. But this time, instead of just going home, I will be taking on a traveller's perspective and explore more places while I still have the chances, instead of just bumming around doing naught.

I've been so busy these two weeks eversince school starts. All my resolutions to exercise more blahdeblah have temporarily gone out the window. No time to even sit somewhere quiet more than 15 minutes doing something that has got nothing to do with school or tuition.

May. What is taking you so long...

2008-01-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

mood ROFL

Bob Marley is your friend.

I came home 10 minutes ago to find a hula-ish, sha-la-la kind of chillout tunes originating from the computer. It made me feel like I was in Hawaii, in the setting of the movie poster of 50 First Dates, swinging on a hammock with a Pina Colada in one hand. Umm, definitely not in 21st century.

And there, sitting in front of the computer doing homework, is my brother. My electric guitar-jamming, punk rock-grooving, speaker-blasting brother, who declared, I am hooked to Bob Marley. The songs are kinda cool!

I'm not sure which one is more bizarre, the sight of my brother doing homework so early in the night, or HIM LISTENING TO BOB MARLEY OMG. I looked at him quizically while simultaneously pinching myself, and thought, This is the day of hope and salvation!

Seriously. Bob Marley?!?! MY BROTHER?

2008-01-17T17:09:00.000+08:00

mood grouchy

Fatigue

School has started and I survived the first week with the help of several lunch escapades out of school and some good ol' procrastination. Work is going to pile up soon, and at the same time, I am getting so tired of having to earn money because it is a need and not a want. I feel like I am holding my breath and running a marathon, ploughing on and on even though i don't feel like it.

Can't wait til May, when this academic marathon officially ends, and I go off for another backpacking trip. Thailand! Speaking of which, my last post on Sarawak (part 3) has still not materialised. Zzzz...

Leaving for tuition now. The best thing that can possibly happen to me right now, is a night off.

2008-01-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

mood bloated

Drink coffee, talk, eat, talk some more.

Met up with Denyse and Keer Ling yesterday. Seemed like only yesterday that we were mugging our asses off, going sleepless in central library level 5 discussion room preparing for food enzymology exam. Oh my, we are all growing OLD. Keer Ling, I still miss mugging with you in arts forum! :(

The two university buddies that I know I will miss when I start working in half a year's time (EEKS.)

2008-01-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

mood hot

Sarawak/ Mulu Trip (Part II) - Day 6-8: The Garden of Eden trek

Right after the Pinnacles Trek, our muscles were pretty much slaughtered. People in their right minds would normally take the rest of the week off recuperating in some quiet corner while sipping wine. But we, on the other hand, still had a whole list of programs lined up for the remaining four days, all requiring muscle flexing of some sorts. God help us.

The next day, after the climb, we had to make our way back to the Mulu Park HQ via the way we came - an 8.8 km jungle trek. Despite the flat terrain, we did not look forward to it.

We took it slow and easy, yet that did not stop me from twisting my ankles FOUR times along the trek. Just minor twists, but that added up to one twist every 2.2 km, which is quite a feat, me thinks. They must have loosened after being twisted twice during the Pinnacles climb. Anyway, it was also during this trek that I got my virgin leech bite. haha. Alright, so the leech wasn't exactly as huge as I pictured it to be, but still.

We finally reached the HQ in the late afternoon and checked into our dingy hostel room (which was the only one left because they messed up our booking, but it's alright). We then spent the rest of the evening cabbaging around, washing an obscene amount of mud-smeared clothings, and eating junk for dinner because we couldn't be arsed to find proper stuff to eat. We had a very early night, but was woken up a few times in the middle of the night because every time we tossed or turned, our aching muscles were screaming bloody murder and intruding into our dreams.

The next day, bright and early, we checked out of the dorms and checked into the deluxe longhouse, before going to the airport to pick Wayne up. Being the gungho backpackers that keiko and I normally are, the rather high-end longhouse was such an indulgence. A very worthwhile splurge though, because NO MOSQUITOES YAY! And we had soft pillows, comfy comforters, air-con (OMG!), plus it was en suite with really good-looking toilets. But just a tad too romantic for the three of us, with dim lights and all. haha.

Anyway, that day was also the day we were scheduled to do the Garden of Eden trek together with Wayne the soonest he arrived. We spent the whole morning attempting to chant our muscles back to recovery. But even by the time we sat in the airport waiting for Wayne, we were still pretty much moving around like grandmothers, wincing and limping away, much to the amusement of the security guards standing near us. Anyway so we waited for Wayne to arrive. And waited. And waited. We stood around, ate, drank, got bitten by another hundred mosquitoes, and waited some more. Turned out that his flight was delayed, and he only appeared two hours later. Needless to say, we didn't manage to make it back in time for the Garden of Eden trek. It was postponed til the next day, but keiko and I were secretly a little relieved. Hurrah!

Ended up doing a canopy walk, which is supposed to be the longest canopy walk in southeast asia or something. It was alright, but no big deal.

The first thing Wayne did the moment he had a bit of idle time, was look for beer. So we walked a few kilometres to a dingy little bar away from the HQ, and lo and behold, got caught in a heavy rain on the way back. But the 7 cans of Tiger beer that we were happily lugging back despite the rain, made up for it. After the half a year that passed ever since I last saw Wayne in Gold Coast, I couldn't help but think that there was something very peculiar about us sitting in a longhouse, in the wilderness of Mulu, allll the way in Sarawak, catching up over Tiger Beer while looking at photographs. Yet, in the words of Wayne, It doesn't feel awkward. It doesn't feel like you left, maybe just went away for a while.

And that was exactly how I felt. The memory of that life in Australia was so intense and still so alive, that it was just too easy to pick it up from where I left.

Anyway! The next day was the Garden of Eden trek. It was a trek through the massive Deer cave where we leave the regular boardwalk and then climb down into underground river, past all the bat poo-covered rocks, and to a glowing pool of water which was supposedly the Garden of Eden.

We had to do a lot of climbing up and down with ropes. That was also where I slipped and did an acrobatic act of being suspended mid air. If not for the rope (thank the heavens), I would have tumbled and rolled into the river, and knocked my head on some rocks. Wayne, on the other hand, made it look like a piece of cake. Many of the rocks were covered with guano (bat poo), like a disgusting frosting on top of a cake. According to keiko, when you put your hand on it, it literally sinks in. Thank GOODNESS I was spared that experience.

The water in the underground river was incredibly clear. So very beautiful!

The Garden of Eden Pool.

Because we opted for the River walk as well, from there we got to venture through some walking trails that first involved climbing some rocks to get to the other side of the pool. However, knowing how unsavvy we are when in comes to climbing, keiko and I opted to swim across instead. WAY better. But wetter.

After we got to the other side, the next part involved walking across a stretch of shallow rivers. It was a lot harder than I expected because it was so darn slippery and balancing on precarious surfaces isn't exactly my forte. Keiko had to yell pointers at me from a few metres in front. DON'T STEP ON THAT ROCK! Go that way! Keep LEFT!

The moment we were out of water, we had to trek along extremely muddy terrain which was FULL OF LEECH (thanks to the heavy rain the night before). It was insane. The leeches were everywhere. Our guide kenneth was constantly pulling out leeches from various parts under his shirt. At one time, he digged into his pants and we thought he was just mucking around but he REALLY did pull a leech out from his groin. I was SO paranoid because strangely, I didn't get any.

Anyway, this trail led us to a really beautiful waterfall and rock pools where we had our lunches and swam and spent probably an hour frolicking in the waters. Didn't take pictures there because we were too busy wading, floating and swimming around :) For some strange reasons, our muscle aches momentarily ceased to exist during this trek.

Even as we were getting ready to go back, there were leeches hiding in our shoes, in Wayne's bag, stealthily sneaking around waiting for the chance to pounce on us. It was disgusting. Keiko was particularly unfortunate, and I had to periodically come to her rescue, armed with leaves, twigs, and an assortment of objects to get them off.

A little toad we found nestled in the hollow of a trail marker. Couldn't resist a shot, but didn't manage to take a better one because just nearby, keiko was already jumping around battling another leech. "FEL! LEECH!!!"

After that, we made our way back, visited Langs Cave (2nd time for keiko and I), and then waited for the Bat Exodus at the bat observatory, still in our wet clothes, soaked to the bone.

Those dots are actually millions of bats that came pouring out of the cave entrance. Not exactly in an explosive manner like I visualised, but batch by batch. Still quite an eye-opener nonetheless. Headed back to our comfortable longhouse after that, and we got caught in the rain on our way back. AGAIN!

2008-01-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

mood pleased

A few hours and many edits later..

I think I am going to stick with this layout for a while :)

2008-01-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

mood nostalgic

365 days

I can't believe that at this exact same time last year, I was sitting in a Qantas plane headed for Brisbane, feeling on top of the world.

It's funny how even after one whole year, it still aches.

2008-01-01T01:39:00.000+08:00

mood grateful

Two zero zero seven in retrospect.

In my first reference to year 2007 using past perfect tense, I would like to say, it had been a really awesome year.

The year started with me zipping off to Gold Coast to fulfill my industrial attachment. And what can I say? So thus, I spent the better half of the year living every day like a dream. It was nothing short of an escapade, the best thing that I saw in my life ever since A levels, and that alone, was enough to make 2007 so worth living.

I have travelled to places, gotten in touch with a side of my personality that never had had the chance to surface before. And in so doing, I discovered that sense of euphoria that entails, from jumping headfirst into the unknown. I got a thrill out of talking to strangers, meeting new people, doing and saying things without thinking, just to see where they would lead me.

I have backpacked to Sydney, bushwalked through the wilderness of Tasmania, immersed myself in the quaint and multi faceted city of Melbourne. And in those six months, I had seen the beauty of nature so mesmerizing, those which I previously could only see in postcards. Australia was a break I had so desperately wanted and God had so graciously given me. Only that it not manage to quieten my soul, only left it wanting for more.

I also made a new friend. One who turned out to be the crappiest, non-stereotypical caucasian, ever. An unlikely co-supervisor, a host, a housemate, a late night TV buddy, a shit spinner, and a dear friend, all rolled into one impossible combination. But yet, for the amazing time I had in Gold Coast, all credit goes to him. To Wayne, whose crappiness was like a breath of fresh air that bit by bit, unravelled the convoluted mess in my head.

But I digressed...

Mid this year, after a year of very intense contemplation, I finally decided not to do honours, only to have my plan thwarted inside out and upside down by divine intervention. It was not a bad thing, and even turned out to be a blessing. Despite not getting my top 3 choices for final year project, things have been coming up roses. This semester, for the only core module I had to take, I got an A for it. Amusingly, my first A for a core module, out of 5 academic semesters. But really, I couldn't have expected less. Things have been so easy with You around. I wish I had been more serious about it much earlier.

Early this year, my siblings started schooling in Singapore. And after coming back from Australia mid this year, it was also the first time I started staying with my family again, after ten years of being abroad alone. It had been very endearing. Pleasant, save for having to play mother to a curfew-breaking brother at the peak of puberty.

Also, I transferred to a new cell group, and joined a new ministry in church. It was a brand new start, it's been great to far, and I am looking forward to many exciting things to come.

This year was the third year of my relationship with Rudy. My first and hopefully my last :)

I also adopted a bunny from SPCA. She's very well, still alive, and FAT.

To conclude the year, I also had a backpacking trip to Mulu, Sarawak, with a friend whose friendship I have been privileged to earn. And that is also another reason why my 2007 was full of chaos, spontaneous trips, confusion and disorder, but also of inexpressible joy and fun. Thank you keiko, it was such a pleasure being your friend :)

I have climbed a mountain (sort of), swam in caves, and roughed it out in forests. If anything, year 2007 had made me realise my passion for travel, my unquenchable thirst for the unknown.

Year 2007 had been good to me. However, I realised that it was also this year that I changed the most. Outgrew certain things, acquired others. Perhaps a shift in perspectives, some rearrangement in priorities. A recent conversation with keiko have also made me discover that I am not a very nice person. I am harsh in judgement, and insensitive in demeanour. A tad cynical towards people, intolerant to many things, a little too unforgiving in giving chances.

Next year, I want to be a better person. I want to be a better girlfriend, a better daughter, a better sister, and a better friend. I want to embrace life with greater zeal, and love people with greater sincerity.

2007 was a splendid year. But I hope 2008 will be my best yet.

Happy new year to all :)

P/S: It was also in year 2007 that I discovered, epilator is the best thing invented by Man. Ever.

2007-12-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

mood blank

Sarawak/ Mulu Trip (Part I) - Day 1-5: The Pinnacles Trek

I had to overcome a lot of inertia writing this post because seriously, how do I even begin to START?

Ok so we embarked on our journey by flying to Miri on 7/12 to spend a night before flying off to Mulu the next day. The moment we reached the Mulu Park Headquarters, i was struck by how liberating the whole place made me feel. Little huts and cabins connected by boardwalks mushroomed out between tall trees and grass. So contained yet so connected. I so loved it.

The highlight for the trip was supposedly the Pinnacles Trek, which took us months of indecisive planning and physically involves climbing the low peak of Gunung Api (about 1200m) to view the picturesque (I only quote) limestone pinnacles. Many travel books give stern warning about it being uber strenuous, with steep climb and sharp limestone blahdeblah. They say something like Only fit people should attempt the climb, but people with perseverance and determination usually make it. And keiko and I thought, whaddahell. Well, other than climbing INexperience, love for food, laziness, and ample storage of body fats; PERSEVERANCE, my friend, is the only thing we have. So we jumped on the bandwagon.

We were scheduled to start the trek on 9/12, and it was going to be a 3 day thing. The first and third day involved jungle trekking to and fro the starting point of the climb. The soonest we had all the registration settled, we kinda went cold and then spent the rest of the week intensively psyching ourselves, trying to mentally resurrect our bodies, which at that point of time felt absolutely sluggish and had acquired a glob-like consistency after months of bumming around.

We were SO going down.

Anyway, we had 2 days before the Pinnacles Trek and we took it easy visiting show caves, swimming in the river and whatnot. On the first day we visited Langs Cave and Deer Cave, which is apparently the largest cave passage in the world. It was absolutely humongous and the soonest we got to the middle of the cave our nostrils were attacked by the pungent smell of guano - years worth of bat poo from the 5 millions of bat hanging upside down above our very heads.

The people walking through the caves looked like ants. Madness!

I love this picture the most. Thin streams of water were cascading down from the roof of the cave. It was breathtaking!

On the second day, we took a longboat to visit Clearwater and Wind Cave.

That is keiko posing for a shot while secretly checking out the boatman sitting at the back.

The next day, armed with backpacks and 3 days worth of quick fixes (think instant noodles & biscuits), and with much trepidation, we started the Pinnacles Trek. The first day was easy enough - a 1 hour longboat journey, followed by a 3 hour trek across leech-infested muddy terrain to Camp 5, where we spent the night curling up in our sleeping bags on a thin mattress and being feasted on by a battalion of mosquitoes.

In the evening, we had a briefing session with our guide, Jerry, a very nice Penan guy who really took care of us during the whole trek. In retrospect, the RM 90pp that I spent on guiding fee was probably the most well spent ringgit in the 2 weeks I was in Malaysia. No seriously, after you get to the end of this post you will know. Anyway, he gave us a lot of warnings, even saying that the journey was harder than Mt. Kinabalu, because of how steep it is and also the sharp limestones. By that time keiko and I were starting to get really antsy and asked gazillion questions to calm our nerves. How steep is the terrain? Has anyone died there before? What if we don't make it?

I thought that this couldn't be much harder than Mt. Warning in Australia. The altitude is about the same and I thought maybe the terrain was just going to be steeper. Heck, at most I would just break a leg. The terrain spanned a total of 2.4 km, which seemed dismal enough compared to Mt. Warning, which was ~~8.8~~ 4.4 km.

BUT MAN, was I in for a rude surprise. The next morning we set off at 7am for the climb. Our guide had already gotten downright technical with all the figures. Fit people normally take 3 hours to climb up, and maybe 4 hours to descend. The not-so-fit would take slightly longer, up to 10 hours for the whole thing. The 2.4 km terrain consisted of 200m of more or less flat grounds, 300 m - 1800 m was to be the most challenging part of the ascent, and 2 km onwards was near vertical with 14 metal ladders to assist the climb.

By the time I got to about 400 m, I was starting to think, OK THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY. The terrain was steep beyond belief, and instead of rather well-constructed steps like Mt. Warning, this one was so steep, we literally had to pull ourselves up every single step of the ascent.

Ok you know what, I am not even going to attempt describing it. Whatever image you have conjured in your mind up til this point of time, it is WORSE.

I got separated from keiko at around 900 m, and for the next two hours trudged the most lonely 1 km of my life. I was huff puffing my way up while trying not to think about how THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY, and focusing so hard on the numbers on the markers that for every 100 m down, I felt like I had reached another level of heaven. It was so agonising. After 1800 m, the terrain changed drastically. A lot more rocky, with insane boulders of rocks (which we were supposed to climb), sharp limestones and vertical metal ladders with ropes.

At 2000 m, I decided to sit down and wait for keiko since the other 6 climbers were way past me anyway. Half hour later, Jerry, who stuck with keiko earlier, emerged from some bushes below, bearing the bad news that keiko made her own way back after the 1800 m mark. I was alone, no more crap to sustain me through possibly the next 6 hours! NO!

For the last 400 m, I ploughed my way through insanely steep limestone rocks, half wishing that I had gone back with keiko and just forgotten about this whole thing. There was a time when Jerry tried to be funny, and waited until I successfully scaled a series of rocks before he then made a gesture to get me to look down on my right. And OH MY GOD it was a deep hole wedged by two tall limestones that I didn't notice earlier. Shit, I could have fallen in there WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I lost count of the number of times that I stared at the jutting rocks and it occured to me that I could actually physically get myself killed if I lose my footage or grip. Why am I paying money to jeopardise my life when I could be staying home making pancakes?? But the over-achiever side of my consciousness was nagging at me like a pesky fly. It was only 400 m more. Too near to let go. So I thought, bugger it. The only comfort I had was the thought of sitting down to catch my breath on flat grounds at the top. Going down was another story I didn't want to think about. Yet.

I eventually reached the top at 12 noon. Rested for half an hour and then foolishly thought, Alright! Now I'm going to take a nice stroll down this thing and then take the rest of the evening being horizontal.

Caught up with the other 6 people after 400 m down and from then on, it was downhill all the way. Our knees were so worn out after the intense climb that by then, every downward step was pure torture. Apparently because of the hard and rocky limestone soil, it intensified the impact that each step made, putting tremendous pressure on the knees, or so Jerry said. All I knew is that I sure as hell wanted to get out of that freaking mountain with my legs intact.

All of us were so drained. Me and another malaysian guy had it the worst because of our weak knees. From about 1500 m onwards, all of us were struggling so hard just to bend our knees, and by 900 m, we were literally inching our way down, taking absurdly long periods of time just make a 100 m progress. At one point I started to get delirious (in retrospect, i think it was lack of food) and was really starting to panic about the possibility of not being physically able to walk down. You know you always hear people casually say, maybe after a shopping marathon, I can't walk anymore. Not that I want to be over dramatic, but it was only until that day that I had a glimpse of what not being able to walk would feel like. Jerry actually had to hold on to one of my hands the whole time to support me while many times I fell forward from not being able to bend my knees. Curling up and rolling down the mountain actually sounded remotely tempting.

For the record, we took 13 hours in total to do the whole Pinnacles Trek. Arrived back at Camp 5 slightly after 8 pm. Needless to say, we made the last 500-600 m of the descent in darkness, with the help of two torch lights. We survived an attack by a colony of red ants too. The soonest we got to our bunk, the only thing I could manage was lie on my back and zoned out for 15 minutes totally zombified.

I am quite proud that I made it to the top and back down, albeit unglamorously and way out of time limits. Lesson learnt: Bumming around is not good enough a preparation to climb a mountain. Any mountain, for that fact.

The next day, keiko and I were idly flipping through the guest book filled with doodlings and scribblings from the past climbers. And boy, we should have read them before the climb, maybe then, we would have known better. There were reports of all sorts of bodily malfunction up there. Major retching, nausea, dislocated shoulders, and one guy who claimed to have climbed Mt Kinabalu five times actually said that the Pinnacles Trek was a shocker. Of course, when I told Wayne (who recently climbed the former) this, his mammoth-sized male ego refused to stomach this piece of information.

Oh well. So the only thing I got out of this agonising and near-death experience, the only thing I could keep, is a photograph.

There you have it. The Pinnacles. Not worth it if you ask me, but OH WELL, it may just float your boat. Especially if your favourite past time happens to be climbing all sorts of vertical surfaces.

And oh did I tell you, after this trek, my shoes had to retire. Half the soles on both sides came flapping, there was plenty of abrasion from repeatedly getting wedged between rocks, some stichings came off, and there was NO WAY I was going to wash off all that mud.

2007-12-27T14:42:00.000+08:00

mood hot

Out of Sync

You know that you have really been MIA when familiar numbers start looking like calculus.

F: Hi, just to confirm with you, later I will be coming at 11 am. May I know if your house number is #06-30 or #06-31? I've been away for so long that I've forgotten!

Tuition kids' parent: Hahaha... busy girl... my house number is #06-40.

For the benefit of the clueless, over here I am talking about my thrice a week english tutor stint. The kids I am taunting are two very adorable taiwanese siblings. Only 7 and 9 yo. After not having seen them for 3 weeks (when I was busy getting dirty in some rainforests), I actually kinda missed them.

Today I walked into the house and the first thing Tiffany did was shove a box into my hands. I stood there looking blank for a second before the mum brought me back to earth. She wanted to get you a Christmas present. And that was when I realised that what I was holding was a box of potpourri fastened with gold ribbons at two corners.

An hour passed while we got lost in a tornado of spelling words - treasure, difficult, kitchen, thunder, hippopotamus. I convinced her that the plural of hippopotamus is really hippopotami, much to her disdain. "We can just call them hippos", she said. And then she hoisted herself onto my lap while doing grammar, trying to differentiate These and Those. After my time was up, she decided she wanted to do an essay, all because of the big Betty Boop sticker that she had been eyeing. Kids and stickers. They work wonders. So I stayed another hour and we wrote about My mother's birthday. This is the same girl who exclaimed "But why???" when I told her I wouldnt be coming for three weeks, before I flew off to Sarawak.

I trudged home past lunch time, and caught my own reflection on a particular glass door, looking like I just crawled out of bed, among other things. And for a split second I couldn't help but wonder, what is there to like?

On another note, Mt. Ophir trip coming up! Everything is still vague but at least now I have something to look forward to. I feel so restless when I have no trip to plan for. haha.

At the end of the day, we are just doing whatever it takes to make ourselves happy.

2007-12-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

mood downright miserable
listening to You're Beautiful by James Blunt

It's not you, it's me.

I am still halfway with my Sarawak trip post Part I, and every day eversince I came back I have been literally dragging myself everywhere and being an absolutely rotten company to everyone. Everyone except keiko, and whenever we hang out, all we could do was look at our retarded photos and talk about all the things we miss.

Rudy says I have to deal with it. It is not sustainable to come back for a week, feel miserable and then zips off again to some obscure corner of the globe. But it's hard dealing with it, because dealing with it is like forcing my mind to think that this intense longing is a figment of my imagination, that good memories are like a fly one can simply swat away.

Afer barely a week of observation, Wayne very casually mentioned that my mood is proportional to my distance away from Singapore. And it made me have an epiphany. Bingo, that's it.

I feel so helpless. I think I am going to explode.

Was I supposed to read between the lines?

2007-12-23T01:28:00.000+08:00

mood wistful

Can't Get Enough

As we miserably trudged back to Singapore this evening, keiko and I pondered upon a very peculiar thought. Only two weeks have passed ever since we embarked on the trip, and it feels like an ETERNITY has gone by. Pre-trip and post-trip are like a lifetime apart. If only we could live everyday with such intensity and blithe abandon, life would be so, very glorious.

It was such a golden nugget of enlightenment that we actually paused mid-stride for a dramatic hug. haha.

I really just want to sit here and replay everything in my head, savouring it all until everything else is a blur.

So very good. And then I will forget..

2007-12-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

mood exhausted

Pit Stop?

I am back from Sarawak! More specifically, Mulu. And I sorely miss that place already! Was there for a grand total of 8 days doing everything that I imagined I would, and more. Climbed a mountain (and nearly died there), clambered over bat poo-covered rocks, swam through caves, frolicked in the waterfall, and woke up everyday to the serenity of greens all around. It was so awesome. Caught up with Wayne there, who flew in from Kota Kinabalu after 2 weeks of touring around Sabah and climbing Mt Kinabalu. It was great! Will talk about the trip in greater details when I rip all the pictures off Wayne.

I have been back for 3 days now but barely had the time to sit down and breathe. AND recuperate from all the muscle aches. Wayne is in town for 4 days and staying at my place. It is so weird to see him in Singapore. SO WEIRD to see him taking trains, queueing for stuff, and walking around Ang Mo Kio (!!!?!?!?!?!) with me. So not used to seeing him so LOST. haha. There were many times when I saw him, did a double take, and then had to punch myself in the stomach to stop myself from laughing. Well you see, after Gold Coast, this is kinda surreal.

Anyway, tomorrow we are all going to Malacca. Yes I know. AGAIN! Third time in 6 months and just a blog entry apart.

Will be back on saturday, and that is when all the grudge begins.

Travelling keeps me sane.

2007-12-06T12:56:00.000+08:00

mood woozy

Off with my backpack.

Wokay, so I've been MIA for a while. And in the 2 week gap between the last entry and now, I have finished exam, nearly depleted my savings on frivolous and not-so-frivolous things, eaten a great deal of food, finished Heroes season 1, been to Malacca for 3 days (again!) and back, bought a hugeass 55L backpack, and packed up to go to Sarawak TOMORROW. woohoo.

Will be MIA again, for good reasons :)

Excuse me, and have a great holiday y'all!

2007-11-23T14:22:00.000+08:00

mood frustrated

Extremities

In relation to yesterday's post title, today things are slightly different, because at this moment, I...

Really, INCREDULOUSLY, unbelievably, ABSOLUTELY cannot be arsed to study.

Stooopid exam to the power of one hundred.

GAH!

2007-11-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

mood lazy

Can't be arsed to study.

Three days ago, on a perfectly normal monday, I was supposed to meet 2 normal friends for supper after my tuition. Sounds like a perfectly normal activity right? I think so too. 'Cept that it didn't turn out to be that normal after all, because my 2 friends didn't turn up. Instead, my boyfriend did. The same boyfriend who at that moment was supposed to still have his ass parked somewhere in Melbourne and shouldn't be here before wednesday.

I tell ya, I thought I was seeing ghost. It was like my brain did an instant reformatting, like WHOA, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?? This fella looks like my boyfriend but CANNOT BE! I must have looked quite moronic with my jaws hanging open for half a minute or so.

The sneaky boyfriend and his accomplices. Complete with fake overseas msges. Well done, guys. So that explains the subtle desperation that I sensed behind that sms when I said I couldn't make it for supper. Haha. The silly prank had me grinning the whole night.

Despite completely rearranging my mugging schedule, I'm SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK, wedge! :)

On to a lazier note, I have lost all drive to study. This inertia is like an elephant crushing me alive. Urgh!

At tuition, with my grade 2 kid:

F: Hey Tiffany, I can't come to teach you English this saturday.
Tiff: Why??
F: Cos I gotta sit for an exam. Err.. it's like some sort of a test.
Tiff: Oh! Is it like a spelling test??
F: Uhhh... no, it's a lot harder than that! (exaggerated emphasis on the word harder)
Tiff: -wide eyed and gasped very loudly-
Tiff: You mean like with ONE THOUSAND SPELLING WORDS??

I wish.

2007-11-17T00:26:00.000+08:00

mood sleepy

Hey, World.

You know, sometimes I question. Why is the world so BIG?

So many cities to visit, nooks and crannies to explore, obscure spots to discover, exotic experiences to savour. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME. And the scientists have not discovered how to genetically engineer a money tree.

At this moment, I am feeling a little greedy. Like as though I have a whole suckling pig in front of me and I don't know where to start.

End Nov - Malacca (again!)
7-16 Dec - Sarawak: Miri + Mulu
Jan - Genting
March - Diving (possibly)
May - need to go back to Bali

And I am still dying to visit Vietnam. And go to Australia again in June.

You know, this travelling thing, is a damn expensive hobby.

2007-11-13T11:16:00.000+08:00

mood bummer

Maybe my alter ego is a junkie

Mad week this week. 2 end-term tests, 1 oral test, 1 presentation, 1 submission, 1 lab report due. And amidst this rush, a random thought hit me in the face. In the midst of french class, I had an epiphany and realised that I actually catch things very well. But Geez, I AM SO LAZY. Seriously, I'm telling you, my laziness is truly MAMMOTH SIZED, and I never realised it before. WHY AM I SO LAZY?!

Yesterday I trundled home after tuition at 10pm, resolving to sleep by midnight. But half an hour later, I was beating myself because I forgot that 10pm was the start of Heroes season 2!

Despite my usual idiocy in TV programmes, it seems like the Heroes bug had bitten me. And despite deadlines and all, I ended up whiling two hours away in front of this foreign object called the television. I think that was the first time I sat on that sofa ever since I moved into this place.

You know what, being lazy actually feels quite good. Uhh.. for now.

2007-11-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

mood amused

The sadistic girlfriend

R: yang, can I eat KFC later? =)
F: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ATE IT? Tell the truth.
R: uhh.. yesterday.
F: then!!!!!
R: actually in the last 4 months, I haven't eaten KFC.. except for fries.
F: cannot.
R: but i never ate the chicken! =(
F: ok only 2 pieces MAX. And no more tomorrow.
R: hee hee. ok =)
F: I am blogging about this.
R: what??
F: You should see how silly you sound begging for a piece of chicken.

2007-11-08T10:45:00.000+08:00

mood grouchy

More than a penny, me thinks.

That, that, and that, always shuts me up.

I feel like my mental and emotional capacity have almost hit rock bottom. Lets not go there, fel. Indifference, once attained, is frighteningly irreversible.

Sometimes, I get a glimpse of life from the eyes of old people. And for a split second, they are transparent. Their tired resignation and cynicism suddenly seems justified enough. Life and its people, they wear them out, mercilessly grating on and on from the inside until eventually what is left is just an empty shell. Then, when they talk, they are not actually talking. In another consciousness, they are actually sitting in their own mental air balloon, looking down and thinking Gee, get on with the program.

Lets go walk by the river
Lets not talk
Because silence
is loud enough

2007-11-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

mood in disbelief

Locked out of my own room.

I came back today to find that my bedroom door has malfunctioned and I am locked out of my bedroom. The holder of the spare key, which is my sister, is off galivanting at east coast for the night. There is a guest sharing my brother's room until Thursday, and considering the fact that the couch in this house consists of a wooden IKEA one-seater, that translates to me not having a place to sleep tonight.

I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. THIS.

So after that initial few minutes of utter disbelief, another few minutes of venting my frustrations on clueless siblings, I forced myself to come to terms with the fact that tonight, I have no place to sleep. No toothbrush, no shampoo, no moisturiser. No quilt to snuggle in, no aircon, to fluffy pillow to rest my head, no bolster to hug, no nothing. All separated from me by a sturdy block of wood that at this moment, I am having difficulty controlling myself not to bang down by brute strength.

I like my room, and I have good reasons to believe that my brother does too. He claims that our aircon is cooler, and our toilet is better. He always comes to our toilet to shit, because unlike his toilet, we have the sitting down WC instead of the squatting WC. Sometimes I would holler at him for stinking up our toilet, "Why can't you shit in your own toilet?!"

To which he would answer, "Have you ever TRIED shitting at my toilet? After you finish shitting, you can't feel your legs!" Then I would feign indifference and proceed to shoo him off in the direction of his own toilet.

Just a while ago, upon successfully fishing out bits and pieces of clothes to wear from the laundry basket, still feeling very fed up by my unfortunate predicament, I asked my brother, "Can I borrow your towel? I want to shower at your toilet tonight."

And then he, flashing me the cheekiest grin that he could muster, gleefully said to me,

"Jie, do you feel like SHITTING tonight? Hehe."

2007-11-01T17:07:00.000+08:00

mood hungry (again!)

It's November.

Actually I have nothing to write about. I just logged into blogger because I felt like announcing that HOLEY MOLEY, IT'S NOVEMBER ALREADY. Right in the middle of spring. Whatever happened to August, September, and October!

Have I told you I am a little obsessed with numbers? Seriously. I have a thing for numbers, especially those in a calendar. I can stare at them like I am reading a book. I do countdowns as though my life depends on them.

Remember mama taught you to stay away from weird human beings?

2007-10-31T10:50:00.000+08:00

mood lousy
listening to Closing Time by Semisonic

J'ai le nez qui coule.

Darn it, the bug got me. Am down with flu ARGH. How coincidental, when 2 days ago we were learning various sicknesses in french class.

A small cause for celebration, because for once I feel justified enough to bum around at home instead of going to school. Alright, I lie. Actually it's 60% because I have not done my french essay homework. Such a pain the ass, it is. I realise I have really lousy time management skills, despite taking so little modules this semester.

There is a persistent restlessness somewhere deep in my gut. Can't wait. For what exactly, I'm not sure. So random.

Ok, off to type the day away doing progress report.

2007-10-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

mood confused

Aunt Agony

People don't seem to find it a problem to trundle over to me with their baggage of problems and pour their complaints into my ears. And I don't mind it, because honestly, if it helps, 'tis all good.

But strangely, people who matter don't do it. They are in another world I cannot enter.

Talk about attracting the wrong crowds.

2007-10-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

mood wonky

Eeeks.

I just spent half of today and yesterday churning out a midi piece for my Science of Music module. It was brain-numbing yet a lot of fun at the same time. Beats doing lab reports anytime. This little composition exercise also made me realise the persistent effect of a classical music background. Despite my futile attempt to do an artsy fartsy or contemporary sounding piece of music, my midi turned out to be like a silly circus accompaniment, full of arpeggios and scales, like a piece out of Sonatina for kids.

Dying for a getaway already.

23 more days! :)

2007-10-26T17:54:00.000+08:00

mood blank

Need to find my mojo.

About 2 months ago, there was a time when singapore got so boring that kko and I resorted to going go to Pulau Ubin for a half day trip. We walked along a stretch of boardwalk overlooking the sea and mangroove trees, and then lay sprawled in the middle of the path, sunbaking because noone was there, the island was OURS. As we were trudging on the creaking woods, looking into the sea and talking about things, one of them being singapore, kko said,

Sometimes if I look hard enough, I can imagine that I'm in another place.

And I envy that kind of ability, because I can't do that to save my life.

Today as I was sitting on the top deck of the bus in air-conditioned comfort, I was watching the architecturally bland buildings, the narrow streets, the cramped up little estates, and the gaudy colourful HDB flats. And my heart sank an inch. I remembered what kko said and I tried to squeeze some new perspective into my brain.

I looked at a little slope at a corner of the road and thought that it could be crestridge crescent. Hey maybe that little alley could pass for Jonker street. And then one of those little houses, it looks like the cosy little estate in No 63, Jln Sawi, Cinere. The little house I miss. I look at all the greenery and tried to deceive my eyes into believing that all these are not just confined by this 700 square km mound of dirt. But whatever minuscule amount of good thoughts I managed to muster was soon engulfed by the monstrosity of this sickening dread I have, at the prospect of the possibility of calling this place home.

It freaks me out.

Sigh, maybe it's just one of those days..

2007-10-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

mood sleepy

Incoherence

People have been telling me I look tired. I get concerned cg members asking me if I am okay, and it BAFFLES me no end. Maybe it is a case of bad discernment, because I am honestly bouncy happy (maybe a little high) and people tell me I don't look alright. It spoils my day, man.

Mid-week chill today, finally! Even if it was just bad hokkien mee and soggy popiah. :)

Last week YS introduced me to a friend of his, who turns out to be one of the girls going to OZ for IA next year. I had a meal with her, and talking about Gold Coast made me miss it somewhat. Or rather, miss the idea of a life of escapade. A life of partial abandonment and oblivion. A life where all that mattered was planning itineraries, booking flights and reading maps (though I still suck at it).

I can't wait to pack my suitcase again. To trip all over mountains and lakes, clumsily navigating my way around bushes, playing with snow, exploring because that is what life has to offer.

I miss melbourne too.

HOOPS! We are flying to Mulu in 43 days! Climbing Pinnacles, swinging on trees, clambering all over rocks. Are you excited are you excited!!! :)

Ok over and out. zzz.

2007-10-17T22:41:00.000+08:00

mood sing-song

I'm in a rather good mood today. Why? Because as of today, it has been 3 years. What a milestone! Here's to many more to come :)

34 more days! :)

2007-10-10T11:09:00.000+08:00

mood blank

Chaos within the calm.

It's ironic. Nowadays when I attempt to write something, the only thing I could write about would be on how I have nothing to write. I can churn out fancy reasons along with oxymoronic justifications for my constant state of mental constipation, but beyond that, I never seem to get past hello.

My life seems a little too organised of late. Every hour and every minute ticks away with a certain predictability and routine. While there is a certain comfort to it, it is also incredibly UN-happening, not to mention superbly brain-draining. For the past one week I have had a ridiculously healthy lifestyle. Waking up at 630am and sleeping at 12. Been trundling to lab at an ungodly hour of 830 am everyday. How do I know that is insane? I always had to get the key from the office because noone is there yet. HANG ON. Whoa that sounds incredibly geeky. Do not be deceived.

Mornings are always full of action. Fridays are mad-rush galore. By afternoon I feel like I have circled half the world and back, and I need to sit somewhere quiet and drink margarita. By 10 pm, my body is literally starting to shut down. By midnight, I turn into a pumpkin.

This morning my sister was telling me, she knows exactly how to tell whether she will be late for school or not, because on normal days, she will pass by this particular woman at this particular junction, at this particular time. And when she gets to the mrt, a particular train would have just left, yadda yadda, and the gist is that, every minute is just so darn predictable. It is crazy. If you think about it, routine is quite a sick thing. It somehow reduces us into an automated being, of which time is the controller.

For me, one good thing about this rare routinity, is that it creates some sort of compartmentalisation for my thoughts. A gentle confinement which puts them on a leash, reminding them to shut up. While I still look at life with a certain kind of sardonic humour, this semi-contained contemplation at least allowed me to realise that if I strain my eyes a little, the grass on this side is actually quite green.

Everyday is surreal. And that's the way I like it.

Anyway, it is with great jubilation that I hereby annouce, THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!! The time for pillow tossing and guiltless alarm-snoozing. :)

On another note, maybe R is right, everyone has an internal dialogue miscommunication once in a while.

2007-09-30T17:06:00.000+08:00

mood hungry

So shiny it's blinding.

I finally drag my bum off the bed yesterday morning to do ~~a bit of~~ spring-cleaning. As of now, I have officially reached a brand new level of domesticity. The kind where the sight of a shiny, perfectly scrubbed stove after an hour of back-breaking feat can almost make me weep with joy. NO YOU MAY NOT USE MY KITCHEN, you grub!

Managed to bribe my little brother into scrubbing the toilets for me too.

J: Do you need help?

me: YA! can you help me scrub the toilets please??

J: huhhhhhh... ok........

-15 minutes later-

F: how is it coming along?

J: -whine whine whine whine WHINE-

F: ok ok, just scrub ok, later I make you mashed potatoes.

J: OK. YOU SAID IT OK?!!

Seriously, this potato thing, it runs in the family.

2007-09-28T16:20:00.000+08:00

mood blessed

Because He says so.

To me, the best feeling in the world, is when I walk knowing that every step I take has been blessed by God. That comforting fuzz, a knowing deep in my soul, that in the realm of the future, a beautiful ending has been reserved just for me. Sealed in an envelope, stamped by the boss Himself.

That kind of feeling, it rocks.

Maybe that's also why I wasn't fazed when I got an honours project that wasn't even in my list of choices. When I was assigned a project noone wanted because the project synopsis wasn't even there. I truly believed that there really wasn't a need to sweat the small stuff, because everything has been taken care of.

Just a while ago I spoke to my final year project prof because I didn't know how to open this little bottle of 25 mg thing. Now, it wouldn't have been so nerve-wrecking if that puny stuff hadn't cost SGD250. A little while later I actually received an sms from Dr P.

"Don't panic and don't worry so much. Some of the best discoveries were by mistake or minor mishaps. Just keep trying to go forward."

And probably knowing how edgy I am, dealing with such an exorbitant bottle of crap, a week or so earlier he also dropped another sms,

"Don't worry about the statins, if it doesn't work we will buy more!"

His msges made me want to laugh. But along with the amusement I was also really touched. Things have actually been working out really well for me! And when everyone else seems to be dreading school, my take on school is actually bordering on enjoyment. My project turns out to be really interesting, my prof is awesome, and the postgrad helping me turned out to be a real cockster (for some unknown reasons I attract crappy people I swear).

I love this feeling. When You are so close it feels as though if I reach out with my hands I can actually touch You. As though if I breathe in deep enough I will be able to feel You.

2007-09-22T13:55:00.000+08:00

mood amused

keiko, YS said this looks like us.

Though in real life, we probably look more spastic than that. HAHA. what say you?

Image from threadless

2007-09-18T18:05:00.000+08:00

mood woozy

A Home That is Not to Be.

Today, I was reading a Malaysia & Singapore travel guide (getting in the spirit for the upcoming Sarawak trip in December!) when I stumbled upon a serendipitous paragraph on Singapore.

Singapore is a strange country. Arriving at the clean, efficient airport and taking a taxi into town past manicured verges and block upon block of architecturally bland apartments, it is possible to imagine that you have entered one of those computer games where the perfect city state can be built.

Ten years ago Singapore was a clean, well-run place but there were pockets of unaddressed messiness, just as there are in every other city - areas where litter swirled and vermin survived, and places with an interesting cultural identity. But as someone remarks to the eponymous hero of Paul Theroux's novel about Singapore, Saint Jack: "Give them a few years and they'll pull this all down and build over it - apartment blocks, car parks, pizza joints, every lousy thing they can think of."

The prophecy has come true.

Oh, I tell you. Even while sitting in the quietness of the library, sinfully buried in travel books (instead of lecture notes), I almost couldn't stop myself from shouting "AMEN TO THAT!"

This feeling of circumstantial discontent has been intensely bugging me in the recent weeks, especially with all these "home country" issues that Rudy and I have been having. And with all these melodrama happening when for once I am actually yearning for some quiet, I can't help but turn to music for some cheap comfort.

Oh world, you intrigue me so.

Lets Get Out of This Country by Camera Obscura

Let’s get out of this country
I’ll admit I am bored with me
I drowned my sorrows and slept around
When not in body at least in mind
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can convince me I am pretty

We’ll pick berries and recline
Let’s hit the road, dear friend of mine
Wave goodbye to our thankless jobs
We’ll drive for miles maybe never turn off
We’ll find a cathedral city, you can be handsome, I’ll be pretty

What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see

Let’s get out of this country
I have been so unhappy
Smell the Jasmine, my head was turned
I feel like getting confessional
We’ll find a cathedral city, you can convince me I am pretty

What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see

Break over, back to books ok bye.

2007-09-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

mood stomach ache

Keep in Touch

A few days ago while stoning away during Flavour Science lecture, I received an sms from a college friend I have not spoken to for a year. We used to be quite close but somehow had started to drift ever since she had a boyfriend (as is always the case). It goes like this:

Hey fel, I'm getting married next month. Would you like to come. But you have to wear traditional Indian clothing.

I tell you, my eyeballs nearly catapulted out of their sockets. Literally ten thousand thoughts were running through my mind. But she is only 22! And she is still in school! Did she drop out of school? Why didn't she tell me anything!?? Why so sudden? Did she get pregnant?? Is it a shot-gun?? But hey, wearing traditional Indian clothing to her wedding would be quite cool. Hmm what colour is good?

That sms caused so much chaos in my brain that I actually came out of lecture for a while and gave her a call, and I didn't realise I was almost yelling into the phone when I blasted, "Are you really getting married???"

And that idiotic girl started guffawing into the phone and said, "No it's just a joke. Cos we havent spoken to each other for so long and I thought that would be a funny way to get things started."

I thought that was a bit sweet and quite amusing. But seriously, how come my friends are all so wEirD?!?!

2007-09-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

mood bloated with soup

Do happy things. Think happy thoughts.

OH MAN. Blogging is such a luxury nowadays. Either I have no time, or my brain is just operating at "random" and absolutely devoid of coherence.

Monday was my poo-face sister's 17th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! To make up for the past uhh.. 10 years of sisterly absence, I did my best to make up for it and brought her on a mini shopping trip. Then that day we went to watch Ratatouille, which was SO awesome. I LOVED it to bits. Food, witty scenarios, very fantastic graphics, and the subtle French bits. I think I could watch it ten times over and not get sick of it.

Remy the rat really reminded me of ah pui. Especially when he was standing on his legs holding all sorts of food.

I miss him :(

Anyway, on friday I got a phonecall from uncle wayne. It was a pleasant surprise! :)
We had a crappy conversation as usual. But knowing him, one really should never expect anything more (or less). haha.

Talking about sarawak trip:

Me: We can go to Miri on the 12th and then wait for you to come on the 13th and then we all fly up to Mulu together. Orrrr.... we will go to Miri on 12th and then start rowing a longboat to Mulu. Should reach just in time to welcome you on the 13th. haha.

W: Its a pity malaysian airlines doesnt fly to mulu or alternatively I could get them to fly really low over mulu and I could jump, hopefully landing on your longboat. lol.

Me: .....

Talking about the next batch of IA students

Me: So are they all girls? Do they fit your criteria or not? below 50kg? like to eat potatoes?

W: Yaya! I asked S to only pick the pretty ones. Geez I dont know how you got in the other time.

Me: !!!!!!!!

2007-09-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

mood headache

A present is a present.

But there is a difference between a thoughtfully packaged present and one that is haphazardly wrapped and then shoved in your face.

Which one would you have liked?