listening to Choux Pastry Heart by Corinne Bailey Rae
Goodbye Gold Coast, Hello Melbourne.
Arrived in melbourne last night. It is chilly here. But i'm not complaining, because to me, the weather is just perfect. When the gentle wind blows, I tuck my arms together and the feel of fleece rubbing against my skin brings some sort of a comfort.
Yesterday Wayne took us to the airport. As we waited at the departure gate, we sat down and ate chips. But the whole time I was there, my mind was a blank. I glanced around me, and everyone I see was a traveller. Where were they going? What were they leaving behind? What beckons them at the other end?
I couldn't cry, my eyes were dry. Maybe I had exhausted them all that morning when I was eating my last breakfast and doing my last minute packing. Or maybe it is just this whole denial issue that I have, the same thing that paralysed me when my auntie passed away last year. Because I make enemies with reality. My mind switches off and erects a wall, holding all emotions back. Maybe a few months down the road when I am a thousand miles away and back in singapore, battling all the academic humdrum, then I will remember those days in Gold Coast when I was truly and naively happy, and maybe then, the wall will crumble.
As he was saying good bye, Wayne teared, and it really broke my heart. But still, I couldn't cry. Then I felt my body walk into the little plane. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Maybe I was hoping that when I woke up some sort of control would have crept back into my head.
On another note, Melbourne is great! I am staying at Uncle Wahyu's place, the place where Rudy is staying, and this place is SO. HUGE. It is obscenely colossal, and I don't know what to do with all this space.
Today we woke up early for church. We bought breakfast at South Yarra. A cappuccino and a bacon-egg-cheese sandwich each. I had an extra 600 kcal chocolate soft cookie, an early endorphin rush. We took a tram, a train, and a bus (I had missed taking trams!). We went to Knox city, supposedly the biggest shopping centre in Victoria, and we had a good time catching up. We ate gelato, we took strolls, we walked down the graffiti-filled Flinders Street, and we ate xiao long bao and shanghai noodles for dinner.
It was very very nice.
But admittedly, I think a part of my heart is still left at Crestridge Crescent. Amidst all the rush, I must have forgotten to pack it in my suitcase, because I can't seem to find it anywhere. Right now, it must be flopping on the couch watching TV, or sitting at the dinner table eating lemon meringue, or lazing in bed, rejoicing because of the long weekend and looking forward to going to the lab on Tuesday. And it must be happy.
I miss uncle wayne. I really do.
Labels: aussie, emo