mood porcelain


Oh look, some colour.

It is a mad house in here. For the past few days ever since I landed in this stinky little island I had been busy figuring out stupid things like How the hell to walk to the train station from here? and Where on earth am I supposed to store all my stuff in this stuffy little hole?

Spent the last few days buying and re-arranging furnitures and also went for a round of major grocery shopping. Managed to squeeze in a 16-lap swim in between too. Yayness.

As I was walking down the aisles of the supermarket, I found myself in a sad predicament where a part of myself was trying to juxtapose the present with the past, trying to make believe that the place was really not NTUC, but Woolworth, or maybe Coles. Like a salmon in a river, I was pushing my big trolley against throngs of overzealous housewives, navigating my way like I was in a maze, when I felt a pang of physical and mental claustrophobia and instantly felt like crap. And as though to seek solace from reality, I found myself shopping with total abandon, clinging onto traces of Australia I thought I could bring back with me in a plastic bag. I thought maybe that would lessen the dull ache a little. I ended up with a trolley chockers with so much junk. A big tub of yoghurt, Moccona, Weetbix, a giant tin of Milo I know I cannot finish, and whatnot.

A part of me was still wishing that I was elsewhere - Crestridge Crescent, Toorak, all sorts of backpacker hostels. Anywhere but here. A part of me was wishing that at that very moment I was breathing the chilly winter air, sitting on a bench at constitution dock eating half a dozen fresh oysters or feeling the wind blowing in my face. Anything but this.

But nowadays I will my mind into thinking about nothing. I try to create some sort of vacuum in my head so that perhaps everything will lighten up and soon I will see myself starting to move along together with the rest of the world instead of being stuck in this standstill moment I know isn't going anywhere.

So it's time to practice what I preach and get the engine running. Because I bloody CANNOT stand people who cannot move on and have their bums nailed to the past.

So! moving along, look what I got myself!

Labels: emo, mumble jumbles