Please tell me that this is not just a series of bad suprises.
Eeeks, I have been a tad mentally constipated lately. Life, at this point of time, consists of an oxymoronic mixture of mundanity and intensity. Strangely, in the midst of academic and work routinity, I have never felt more grown up. But yet, all these stuff that have been constantly resurfacing, tugging and pulling at my attention, they have been demoted to a mere piece of patterned wallpaper. Like a mute, ubiquitous presence.
I'm still stuck with all these tuitions. I am booked out on monday, tuesday, thursday, friday and saturday. Sometimes they make me feel so drained. Not just the mere act of going through the motion, but the bittersweet reminder that they serve, like hey guess what, you actually dont really have a choice, ha! But I am slowly getting used to the idea that this is how making a living ought to feel like.
Which is why, wednesdays are so PRECIOUS! Oh joy :) Today keiko and I went to selegie for bah kut teh, hor fun, egg tarts, grass jelly and crystal dumplings. I am savouring every minute of such chill-out, laidback moments before things start getting crazy in a week or two.
Oh the FRENCH. Don't remind me about french. Je ne sais pas!
My msn nick nowadays reads "felicia wants a french friend". And some of my goondo friends actually thought that I meant a snog partner. UHH how society has polluted your brains...... haha.
Labels: mumble jumbles, school
Right back at you.
I haven't had the time to blog about Malacca. But hey-ho, some happy random shots!
Mango lassi, egg Briyani, palak paneer, chicken tikka and naan at Banana Apollo.
Giant burger at Haven and dessert at Es Teler 77.
Walkabout around town.
Life feels so glorious with good food and good people :)
Anyway, school has started and I am still basking in the whole lackadaisical feel of my days because of the sporadic occurrences of my lessons. I've still got shitloads of stuff to settle but at least now I can breathe. Ah, life has been so STRANGE. Things have been coming back as quickly as they had disappeared from my life. It convinces me that God really is this humorous guy who at this moment is probably having fun tangling the 6.6 billions of puppet strings that are our lives.
Labels: foooood, mumble jumbles
mood splitting headache
Many times, the key to less headache is : Never lie, keep things simple, and be true to yourself.
A Psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the LORD
---Psalm 23 (New Living Translation)
And oh, next time remind me to shut up. And stay away from coffee beans.
Labels: mumble jumbles
mood in gastric pain
I had a darn long day today. We had a WHOLE day's worth of laboratory safety talks, complete with first aid lessons and CPR-on-dummy demonstrations. Had tuition straight after that. My day started at the ungodly hour of 8.30 am and it didn't end til 10 pm. Trundled through my front door only at 11 pm. I am SO knackered.
And I miss Rudy. I can't wait for this LDR to end (I mean the LD, not the R).
Life nowadays has been nothing short of crazy. Cramming tuitions in between school to make a living, stealing short getaways out of (and around) singapore, drowning frustrations with good food from across the state borders, taking odd jobs for that extra moolah (like putting my trusty but rusty Indonesian to good use by translating stock market documents), and then some.
Sometimes I wonder if I am biting off more than I can chew. But I don't care, because if a crazy life means I could feel more alive, I would take it up in a heartbeat.
And yet, amidst the rush hours, there were pockets of time when I could get lost in myself. Those were the moments that were fleeting but so precious. That 15-minute walk back home, that long bus ride to school. Today when I was on the crowded train, I was stoning away when Big Yellow Taxi burst out through my earphones. And I was *snap* virtually transported to another place and time. So random. So unplanned. It was as though someone pulled me by the collar, took me flying by the speed of light and then plonked me right smack in the middle of memory lane, somewhere not very far from here.
Today, it brought me to PFI, the company I was interning in last semester. It was that exact moment when I was standing beside line 3, standing over a cardbox tray and sticking sticky labels onto little pouches (I was always complaining about sticking labels onto pouches because they were so bloody mundane that my mind always went blank and my brain ceased to operate). And then Wayne came over, saw the blank look on my face, and knowing fully well the time warp zone that I was in, amusedly shouted "FELICIA, WHAT DAY IS IT!"
And then it brought me to my room (or should I say ex-room) in Crestridge Crescent. And I was stunned at how crystal clear the images were, right down to the furring on the carpet, the black spots at the base of my cupboard, and the slightly starchy feel of the comforter. The thin layer of dust on the fan that I never bothered to clean.
And then I was in the kitchen, opening the cupboard. I was looking through the collection of spices, looking at the stack of cookbooks. I could see everything. Even the creases on the spice labels, the long tear on the cover of a particularly thick cookbook. The white bottle of Homebrand salt, the black pepper grinder, the broken salt grinder. Then the fridge - the half grated Colby cheese on the egg tray, as well as the ubiquitous bits and pieces of chocolates at the fridge door.
It was so surreal, as though if I closed my eyes and reached out with my hands, I could actually touch them and feel them under my fingers. In that other consciousness, the me who was standing on that memory lane did a double take. But eventually found that they were indeed real as real can be. It was one of those moments when time really did stand still. Not the cliche kind, but the achingly pure and inexplicably tangible sort. That very essence of time, it stood perfectly still.
And then I thought maybe I'd give Wayne a ring. So we had a short chat. It was hilarious. But it was also strange. Like as though I never really left.
So as I sat in a corner of that stuffy little bus 168, cruising through the expressway, I found an odd sense of comfort, knowing that amidst this crazy life, my memories are exactly where I left them. Intact and beautifully whole.
Labels: emo, mumble jumbles
I just came back from a 4D3N trip to Malacca two days ago! I had such a ball of a time and I can't wait to blog about it. After I organise my thoughts and grab the photos from keiko, that is! :)
Labels: mumble jumbles