Complicatedly simple, or simply complicated?


Sunday, September 30, 2007

mood hungry


So shiny it's blinding.

I finally drag my bum off the bed yesterday morning to do a bit of spring-cleaning. As of now, I have officially reached a brand new level of domesticity. The kind where the sight of a shiny, perfectly scrubbed stove after an hour of back-breaking feat can almost make me weep with joy. NO YOU MAY NOT USE MY KITCHEN, you grub!

Managed to bribe my little brother into scrubbing the toilets for me too.


J: Do you need help?

me: YA! can you help me scrub the toilets please??

J: huhhhhhh... ok........


-15 minutes later-


F: how is it coming along?

J: -whine whine whine whine WHINE-

F: ok ok, just scrub ok, later I make you mashed potatoes.

J: OK. YOU SAID IT OK?!!


Seriously, this potato thing, it runs in the family.

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posted at 5:06 PM by Felice





Friday, September 28, 2007

mood blessed


Because He says so.

To me, the best feeling in the world, is when I walk knowing that every step I take has been blessed by God. That comforting fuzz, a knowing deep in my soul, that in the realm of the future, a beautiful ending has been reserved just for me. Sealed in an envelope, stamped by the boss Himself.

That kind of feeling, it rocks.

Maybe that's also why I wasn't fazed when I got an honours project that wasn't even in my list of choices. When I was assigned a project noone wanted because the project synopsis wasn't even there. I truly believed that there really wasn't a need to sweat the small stuff, because everything has been taken care of.

Just a while ago I spoke to my final year project prof because I didn't know how to open this little bottle of 25 mg thing. Now, it wouldn't have been so nerve-wrecking if that puny stuff hadn't cost SGD250. A little while later I actually received an sms from Dr P.


"Don't panic and don't worry so much. Some of the best discoveries were by mistake or minor mishaps. Just keep trying to go forward."


And probably knowing how edgy I am, dealing with such an exorbitant bottle of crap, a week or so earlier he also dropped another sms,


"Don't worry about the statins, if it doesn't work we will buy more!"


His msges made me want to laugh. But along with the amusement I was also really touched. Things have actually been working out really well for me! And when everyone else seems to be dreading school, my take on school is actually bordering on enjoyment. My project turns out to be really interesting, my prof is awesome, and the postgrad helping me turned out to be a real cockster (for some unknown reasons I attract crappy people I swear).

I love this feeling. When You are so close it feels as though if I reach out with my hands I can actually touch You. As though if I breathe in deep enough I will be able to feel You.

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posted at 4:20 PM by Felice





Saturday, September 22, 2007

mood amused





keiko, YS said this looks like us.

Though in real life, we probably look more spastic than that. HAHA. what say you?



Image from threadless

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posted at 1:55 PM by Felice





Tuesday, September 18, 2007

mood woozy


A Home That is Not to Be.

Today, I was reading a Malaysia & Singapore travel guide (getting in the spirit for the upcoming Sarawak trip in December!) when I stumbled upon a serendipitous paragraph on Singapore.


Singapore is a strange country. Arriving at the clean, efficient airport and taking a taxi into town past manicured verges and block upon block of architecturally bland apartments, it is possible to imagine that you have entered one of those computer games where the perfect city state can be built.

Ten years ago Singapore was a clean, well-run place but there were pockets of unaddressed messiness, just as there are in every other city - areas where litter swirled and vermin survived, and places with an interesting cultural identity. But as someone remarks to the eponymous hero of Paul Theroux's novel about Singapore, Saint Jack: "Give them a few years and they'll pull this all down and build over it - apartment blocks, car parks, pizza joints, every lousy thing they can think of."

The prophecy has come true.



Oh, I tell you. Even while sitting in the quietness of the library, sinfully buried in travel books (instead of lecture notes), I almost couldn't stop myself from shouting "AMEN TO THAT!"

This feeling of circumstantial discontent has been intensely bugging me in the recent weeks, especially with all these "home country" issues that Rudy and I have been having. And with all these melodrama happening when for once I am actually yearning for some quiet, I can't help but turn to music for some cheap comfort.

Oh world, you intrigue me so.





Lets Get Out of This Country by Camera Obscura

Let’s get out of this country
I’ll admit I am bored with me
I drowned my sorrows and slept around
When not in body at least in mind
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can convince me I am pretty

We’ll pick berries and recline
Let’s hit the road, dear friend of mine
Wave goodbye to our thankless jobs
We’ll drive for miles maybe never turn off
We’ll find a cathedral city, you can be handsome, I’ll be pretty

What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see

Let’s get out of this country
I have been so unhappy
Smell the Jasmine, my head was turned
I feel like getting confessional
We’ll find a cathedral city, you can convince me I am pretty

What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see



Break over, back to books ok bye.

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posted at 6:05 PM by Felice





Monday, September 17, 2007

mood stomach ache


Keep in Touch

A few days ago while stoning away during Flavour Science lecture, I received an sms from a college friend I have not spoken to for a year. We used to be quite close but somehow had started to drift ever since she had a boyfriend (as is always the case). It goes like this:


Hey fel, I'm getting married next month. Would you like to come. But you have to wear traditional Indian clothing.


I tell you, my eyeballs nearly catapulted out of their sockets. Literally ten thousand thoughts were running through my mind. But she is only 22! And she is still in school! Did she drop out of school? Why didn't she tell me anything!?? Why so sudden? Did she get pregnant?? Is it a shot-gun?? But hey, wearing traditional Indian clothing to her wedding would be quite cool. Hmm what colour is good?

That sms caused so much chaos in my brain that I actually came out of lecture for a while and gave her a call, and I didn't realise I was almost yelling into the phone when I blasted, "Are you really getting married???"

And that idiotic girl started guffawing into the phone and said, "No it's just a joke. Cos we havent spoken to each other for so long and I thought that would be a funny way to get things started."

I thought that was a bit sweet and quite amusing. But seriously, how come my friends are all so wEirD?!?!

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posted at 10:33 PM by Felice





Sunday, September 09, 2007

mood bloated with soup


Do happy things. Think happy thoughts.

OH MAN. Blogging is such a luxury nowadays. Either I have no time, or my brain is just operating at "random" and absolutely devoid of coherence.

Monday was my poo-face sister's 17th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! To make up for the past uhh.. 10 years of sisterly absence, I did my best to make up for it and brought her on a mini shopping trip. Then that day we went to watch Ratatouille, which was SO awesome. I LOVED it to bits. Food, witty scenarios, very fantastic graphics, and the subtle French bits. I think I could watch it ten times over and not get sick of it.

Remy the rat really reminded me of ah pui. Especially when he was standing on his legs holding all sorts of food.





I miss him :(

Anyway, on friday I got a phonecall from uncle wayne. It was a pleasant surprise! :)
We had a crappy conversation as usual. But knowing him, one really should never expect anything more (or less). haha.


Talking about sarawak trip:

Me: We can go to Miri on the 12th and then wait for you to come on the 13th and then we all fly up to Mulu together. Orrrr.... we will go to Miri on 12th and then start rowing a longboat to Mulu. Should reach just in time to welcome you on the 13th. haha.

W: Its a pity malaysian airlines doesnt fly to mulu or alternatively I could get them to fly really low over mulu and I could jump, hopefully landing on your longboat. lol.

Me: .....



Talking about the next batch of IA students

Me: So are they all girls? Do they fit your criteria or not? below 50kg? like to eat potatoes?

W: Yaya! I asked S to only pick the pretty ones. Geez I dont know how you got in the other time.

Me: !!!!!!!!

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posted at 11:19 PM by Felice





Sunday, September 02, 2007

mood headache


A present is a present.

But there is a difference between a thoughtfully packaged present and one that is haphazardly wrapped and then shoved in your face.

Which one would you have liked?

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posted at 4:05 PM by Felice





mood sad


God of My Forever.

Today after service I went to catch The Willow Tree with keiko and mei. It was my first time watching a Picture House movie at Cathay. It was quite cool actually. It screens only those artsy fartsy foreign movie. The theatre is very small but looks somewhat more atas. You can't bring food and drinks in too.

There is this thing about artsy movies. They are always so intense and emotions-provoking. Full of pregnant pauses and faces that speak a thousand words. Every little gesture seemed to tell a million stories. Anyway, The Willow Tree was in Persian (with subtitles). It was about a professor who was blind ever since he was eight years old. He had a mother, a wife and a lovely kid and his house was like a little paradise in which he was always sheltered. But unhappy about his condition, feeling shortchanged by the world, he seeked God for compassion and went to Paris to get treatment. By some miraculous chances, he managed a corneal transplant and was finally able to see. But after that 37 years of darkness and the vacuum that it had created, instead of feeling thankful for the new lease of life, he couldn't help but resent his wasted youth. He had never known how to read proper alphabets, never before known how his wife looked like, and suddenly the world was a plethora of possibilities. You get the drift.

So you see, changes are not always good. They throw people off-balance. They make you confused.

Today during worship in service, I was overcome with a fleeting moment of sadness. Everyone is changing. Nothing is the same anymore. Why? Things I had hung my happiness upon, things I had trusted so wholeheartedly and without question, suddenly everything seemed so transient.

At that moment, we were singing, God of my forever, and forever I'm with you. And I got an epiphany. But at the same time, I felt so crappy. God always had to put me through the same things more than once, because I just never get it.

How do you take changes in your stride if people are making it so difficult? I have a life too, you know. I have my dreams. I have my hopes, my desires. And it makes me sad just thinking about them because the harder I grip, the faster they seem to be slipping away from my hands.

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posted at 12:55 AM by Felice





Saturday, September 01, 2007



Too many dots on the piece of paper.

Hide me,
I dont want anyone to see.
Take me away,
so that it's just You and me.

Just one word,
and I will follow.
Should I stay,
or should I go.

Labels:


posted at 12:08 AM by Felice







About Me

Felicia

23

is a free spirit | is straight | loves to drink | but is a cheap drunk | loves travelling too much | lives for good food | wants to ride on a hot air balloon | hates ignorance | hates mediocrity | hates meaningless conversations | loves walking in the rain |


Indonesia, Singapore


feliciadeanneATgmailDOTcom



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