listening to Closing Time by Semisonic
J'ai le nez qui coule.
Darn it, the bug got me. Am down with flu ARGH. How coincidental, when 2 days ago we were learning various sicknesses in french class.
A small cause for celebration, because for once I feel justified enough to bum around at home instead of going to school. Alright, I lie. Actually it's 60% because I have not done my french essay homework. Such a pain the ass, it is. I realise I have really lousy time management skills, despite taking so little modules this semester.
There is a persistent restlessness somewhere deep in my gut. Can't wait. For what exactly, I'm not sure. So random.
Ok, off to type the day away doing progress report.
Labels: mumble jumbles
People don't seem to find it a problem to trundle over to me with their baggage of problems and pour their complaints into my ears. And I don't mind it, because honestly, if it helps, 'tis all good.
But strangely, people who matter don't do it. They are in another world I cannot enter.
Talk about attracting the wrong crowds.
Labels: mumble jumbles
I just spent half of today and yesterday churning out a midi piece for my Science of Music module. It was brain-numbing yet a lot of fun at the same time. Beats doing lab reports anytime. This little composition exercise also made me realise the persistent effect of a classical music background. Despite my futile attempt to do an artsy fartsy or contemporary sounding piece of music, my midi turned out to be like a silly circus accompaniment, full of arpeggios and scales, like a piece out of Sonatina for kids.
Dying for a getaway already.
23 more days! :)
Labels: mumble jumbles, music
Need to find my mojo.
About 2 months ago, there was a time when singapore got so boring that kko and I resorted to going go to Pulau Ubin for a half day trip. We walked along a stretch of boardwalk overlooking the sea and mangroove trees, and then lay sprawled in the middle of the path, sunbaking because noone was there, the island was OURS. As we were trudging on the creaking woods, looking into the sea and talking about things, one of them being singapore, kko said,
Sometimes if I look hard enough, I can imagine that I'm in another place.
And I envy that kind of ability, because I can't do that to save my life.
Today as I was sitting on the top deck of the bus in air-conditioned comfort, I was watching the architecturally bland buildings, the narrow streets, the cramped up little estates, and the gaudy colourful HDB flats. And my heart sank an inch. I remembered what kko said and I tried to squeeze some new perspective into my brain.
I looked at a little slope at a corner of the road and thought that it could be crestridge crescent. Hey maybe that little alley could pass for Jonker street. And then one of those little houses, it looks like the cosy little estate in No 63, Jln Sawi, Cinere. The little house I miss. I look at all the greenery and tried to deceive my eyes into believing that all these are not just confined by this 700 square km mound of dirt. But whatever minuscule amount of good thoughts I managed to muster was soon engulfed by the monstrosity of this sickening dread I have, at the prospect of the possibility of calling this place home.
It freaks me out.
Sigh, maybe it's just one of those days..
Labels: mumble jumbles, singapore
People have been telling me I look tired. I get concerned cg members asking me if I am okay, and it BAFFLES me no end. Maybe it is a case of bad discernment, because I am honestly bouncy happy (maybe a little high) and people tell me I don't look alright. It spoils my day, man.
Mid-week chill today, finally! Even if it was just bad hokkien mee and soggy popiah. :)
Last week YS introduced me to a friend of his, who turns out to be one of the girls going to OZ for IA next year. I had a meal with her, and talking about Gold Coast made me miss it somewhat. Or rather, miss the idea of a life of escapade. A life of partial abandonment and oblivion. A life where all that mattered was planning itineraries, booking flights and reading maps (though I still suck at it).
I can't wait to pack my suitcase again. To trip all over mountains and lakes, clumsily navigating my way around bushes, playing with snow, exploring because that is what life has to offer.
I miss melbourne too.
HOOPS! We are flying to Mulu in 43 days! Climbing Pinnacles, swinging on trees, clambering all over rocks. Are you excited are you excited!!! :)
Ok over and out. zzz.
Labels: mumble jumbles
I'm in a rather good mood today. Why? Because as of today, it has been 3 years. What a milestone! Here's to many more to come :)
34 more days! :)
Chaos within the calm.
It's ironic. Nowadays when I attempt to write something, the only thing I could write about would be on how I have nothing to write. I can churn out fancy reasons along with oxymoronic justifications for my constant state of mental constipation, but beyond that, I never seem to get past hello.
My life seems a little too organised of late. Every hour and every minute ticks away with a certain predictability and routine. While there is a certain comfort to it, it is also incredibly UN-happening, not to mention superbly brain-draining. For the past one week I have had a ridiculously healthy lifestyle. Waking up at 630am and sleeping at 12. Been trundling to lab at an ungodly hour of 830 am everyday. How do I know that is insane? I always had to get the key from the office because noone is there yet. HANG ON. Whoa that sounds incredibly geeky. Do not be deceived.
Mornings are always full of action. Fridays are mad-rush galore. By afternoon I feel like I have circled half the world and back, and I need to sit somewhere quiet and drink margarita. By 10 pm, my body is literally starting to shut down. By midnight, I turn into a pumpkin.
This morning my sister was telling me, she knows exactly how to tell whether she will be late for school or not, because on normal days, she will pass by this particular woman at this particular junction, at this particular time. And when she gets to the mrt, a particular train would have just left, yadda yadda, and the gist is that, every minute is just so darn predictable. It is crazy. If you think about it, routine is quite a sick thing. It somehow reduces us into an automated being, of which time is the controller.
For me, one good thing about this rare routinity, is that it creates some sort of compartmentalisation for my thoughts. A gentle confinement which puts them on a leash, reminding them to shut up. While I still look at life with a certain kind of sardonic humour, this semi-contained contemplation at least allowed me to realise that if I strain my eyes a little, the grass on this side is actually quite green.
Everyday is surreal. And that's the way I like it.
Anyway, it is with great jubilation that I hereby annouce, THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!! The time for pillow tossing and guiltless alarm-snoozing. :)
On another note, maybe R is right, everyone has an internal dialogue miscommunication once in a while.
Labels: emo, mumble jumbles