mood downright miserable
listening to You're Beautiful by James Blunt


It's not you, it's me.

I am still halfway with my Sarawak trip post Part I, and every day eversince I came back I have been literally dragging myself everywhere and being an absolutely rotten company to everyone. Everyone except keiko, and whenever we hang out, all we could do was look at our retarded photos and talk about all the things we miss.

Rudy says I have to deal with it. It is not sustainable to come back for a week, feel miserable and then zips off again to some obscure corner of the globe. But it's hard dealing with it, because dealing with it is like forcing my mind to think that this intense longing is a figment of my imagination, that good memories are like a fly one can simply swat away.

Afer barely a week of observation, Wayne very casually mentioned that my mood is proportional to my distance away from Singapore. And it made me have an epiphany. Bingo, that's it.

I feel so helpless. I think I am going to explode.




Was I supposed to read between the lines?

Labels: emo, singapore